This is a site about information, lack of communication and conversation-overload.
O
SUPER
MANIAC

BY LAURIE ANDERSON
O SUPERMAN
NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
MANIAC
MAN
MOM AND DAD
OH MOM AND DAD
OH JUDGE
SUPER
O

[NARRATOR] It begins like this. Two billion years ago, an amoeba. Wait, let’s back up. I’ve skipped too many connections. Out of nothing, in an instant everything. An infinite cosmic orgy of matter and energy, rubbing, bumping, and grinding together. There would be no galaxies, no suns, no planets, no life without collisions of heavenly bodies. Back to our amoeba. It engulfs a bacterium with unique powers, and voilà. Earth’s first photosynthesis-enabled organism. Maybe it was chance. Maybe it was inevitable. This one changed amoeba becomes the ancestor of every living plant on Earth, which in turn floods the planet with oxygen paving the way for every other form of life we know leading to more souls, more connections, and therefore more new worlds branching outward from the first. These forces of nature, when they converge, be they astronomical collisions, biological unions, demonstrate the infinite potential of our connections. This truth also extends to the human heart. Pack of Stuttons. [CLEARS THROAT] No offense, but how are you gonna pay for these? I’m gonna use an adBuddy to cover this purchase. Those assholes record client conversations. AD BUDDY NOT ACCEPTED National Database of Desires. The businessmen, ever hear of it? They know you better than you know you. – Okay. – It’s not a conspiracy, a conspiracy theory. [NARRATOR] Hypothesis all souls are on a quest to connect. Corollary our minds have no awareness of this quest. Oh. [SIGHS] Did you know that most quarters have been swallowed and defecated by a human? [NARRATOR] Hypothesis: all the worlds that almost were matter just as much as the world we’re in. Corollary: these hidden worlds cause us great pain. no wallet, no shoes. No idea how I even really got to Poland in the first place. Bro, I’m telling you, this was seriously such a crazy situation. Th From Poland I was in I had no idea I had no idea how I got there. [NARRATOR] Camaraderie, communion, family, friendship, love, what have you. [CHUCKLES AND SIGHS] We’re lost without connection. EVERYTHING TASTES BETTER WHEN YOU’RE TOGETHER [WOMAN] relationships are tough. Thank you, Friend Proxy. [NARRATOR] It’s quite terrible to be alone. NOT ALL HUGS ARE CREATED EQUAL Put simply, my goal is to eradicate all unnecessary and inefficient forms of human pain. Forever. We must evolve past our suffering. It’s trash, not a handout. Let’s move it. What are you, a cop? Not much of a difference authority-wise. Let’s go. MILGRIM INDUSTRIES [NARRATOR] My research into this matter is of course, ongoing. [MAN] The witness has already been sworn in. Mr. Milgrim, can you state for the court your relationship with the defendant, Mr. Jed Milgrim? He’s, um – He’s my brother. – [MAN] Thank you. Have you ever been arrested? – No. – [MAN] Are you married? – No. – [MAN] Children? No. [MAN] And can you tell us about the psychotic break that you experienced roughly ten years ago? – Really? – [MAN] I’m just asking. That’s how they’re gonna start? Dad, come on. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll be like that in the trial, Owen, but, uh, sometimes prosecutors, they they try atypical inroads to crack you. That’s why we we have to prep for the unexpected. Can you resume, please? Have you ever been hospitalized for mental illness? Yes, ten years ago. Please explain what happened. [OWEN] I was hospitalized and medicated and that was the last episode I had. Wasn’t the nature of this psychosis delusional? That you sometimes thought you saw your brother when he wasn’t there? [OWEN] Not exactly. Just say no. Then what was the nature of this psychosis? [SIGHS] Owen, don’t you think that your mental illness should disqualify you from testifying as a witness on your brother’s behalf? Look, there’s only one question here that really matters. Owen, do you know what is real? One hundred percent. I’m compos mentis. [WOMAN] Welcome to New York. And this is Statue of Extra Liberty. Da. Statue of Extra Liberty. Okay. [WOMAN CONTINUES SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN] [FOGHORN BLARES] [MAN] How’d the trial prep go for a naughty brother? Did you tell them about me? You’re not supposed to be here. [MAN] Good. You’re still using the code words, even though I am technically invisible. Owen, this week must be a doozy for you, huh? You thought you were rid of me, but I have new information. This time I know. You’ve been chosen to save the world. You’re gonna be a hero. [FOGHORN BLARES] I don’t want this. I don’t want it. I don’t want this. The details of the mission will be delivered to you by an agent, a woman. You’ll know her when you see her, trust me. Just make contact with her. The pattern is the pattern. She’ll reach you for further instructions! [YELLS] Don’t fuck this up! [FOGHORN BLARES] [RUMBLING] [COOING] [POPCORN POPPING] [AUTOMATED VOICE] Welcome. Please make a selection to begin. You selected single ride. How will you pay? You selected credit. Please swipe now. Declined. Insufficient funds. Would you like to use an adBuddy to add [AD BUDDY] Okay, Mr. Milgrim, I’m gonna need your attention. “When tragedy strikes others, it’s sometimes hard to know what to do until now “ Owen. “Daddy’s Home. Consider becoming a temporary volunteer mail-order husband and changing the lives of a heartbroken family in your region. “ YOU ARE HERE Okay, well, up next, we got something called Neberdine Pharmaceuticals. [CLEARS THROAT] “Good afternoon, Owen. Did you know that your rent comprises 87. 2 percent of your annual income?” Is that actually true? – I just moved into my own place. – [AD BUDDY] Manhattan these days I’m over in an underground warehouse unit. Hoboken. – I actually live in Roosevelt Island. – Okay, well Uh, let’s see. Oh-ho-ho. “A catastrophic interruption in your professional life, like a furlough, could ruin you. Ever thought about supplementing your income with pharmaceutical testing?” Friend Proxy. “Tired of spending your time and energy making friends?” [OPERATOR] And that is why Daddy’s Home is happy to welcome you, Mr. Milgrim. [OWEN] And I’d have to cover relocation costs? [OPERATOR] And inherit any potential debt of the deceased. That doesn’t make sense. So, that’s a yes? To what? [OPERATOR] It makes perfect sense. – We are offering you heroism. – [MAN] So this is your office area. Again, it’s a question of commitment. [OWEN] Your ad is misleading, ‘cause you refer to it as a volunteer opportunity, but in the end I’d have to pay. [OPERATOR] But think about what you’d be getting. – A wife, lonely, in need. – [OWEN] Yeah. – [OPERATOR] Owen. It’s a done deal. – I have to go. Rozo did the anonymous hammerhead from the top down and came back with a 12-bullet short-termer. – When? – Well, they randomized the pattern. We’ve sent out 30 memos on it since this morning. Um, so this furlough, how long does it last? – It’s temporary. – Right. So when am I back? Oh, I don’t know. I was kidding. It’s probably permanent. I was using your kind of humor, when you say something you don’t mean and nobody laughs. It’s Yeah, it’s okay. I’ll just I’ll just dip into my savings. Bye. [EXHALES] [RUMBLING] [RETCHING] [COUGHING] [SPITS] [COUGHING] THE PATTERN IS THE PATTERN [MAN] Okay, Owen. – Do you know what I want to do? – [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Are you sure you know what I want to do? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] The way this deprogramming works, it’s not an overnight fix. You have to listen to it like a mantra. If you start feeling paranoid, you play this tape right away, okay? [OWEN] Okay. [MAN] Now, stop me when I say something that’s not true. The world sends you messages. [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Words are often code words, or pass phrases for important secrets. [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] You’re visited by a brother no one else in your family is aware of. A facsimile of your brother Jed. – [OWEN] Yes. – [MAN] He sends you messages. Instructions for important missions you must accomplish. [OWEN] To see the deeper truth. [MAN] He tells you you’re meant to do something big, something that matters to the world, and that you’re not meant to do it alone. All you need is a partner. [OWEN] Yes. [WOMAN] You made a promise to me, and you made a promise to yourself. You promised we’d golf together in Hilton Head. [MAN] You sense danger all around you, but you stay disciplined. A fight’s coming. Something even bigger than this world. Possibly extending to multiple galaxies. – [ELEVATOR] Fourth floor. Thank you. – [OWEN] Yes. Hello, Mrs. Finkelstein. Fuck off, Donovan. It’s, uh Owen. – Owen Milgrim – Fuck off, Donovan. Never mind. [MAN] Good. Does it feel good to be heard? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Does it feel good to know that you’re not alone with this information? [OWEN] Yeah. [MAN] Will you complete your mission? [OWEN] Maybe. [MAN] Am I a trusted messenger? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Good. Then here are your real instructions. Repeat after me. There is no pattern. [OWEN] There is no pattern. [MAN] I am vulnerable, but I am not stupid. [OWEN] I’m vulnerable, but I’m not stupid. [MAN] But I will seek out the people in my life that care about me. [OWEN] I will seek out the people in my life who care about me. [MAN] I am not the chosen one. [OWEN] I am not the chosen one. – [MAN] The voices aren’t real. – [CLATTERING] – [OWEN] The voices aren’t real. – The voices aren’t real. [MAN] The voices are just noise. – [OWEN] The voices are just noise. – The voices are just noise. [MAN] I am just a guy with a vivid imagination. [OWEN] I’m just a guy with a vivid imagination. [DOORBELL RINGS] [MAN] I will most likely not be the savior of our galaxy. Hello? [MAN, DISTORTED] I’ve got a package from Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech for an Owen Milgrim. What? [MAN] I’ve a package your name. [BUZZING] [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS] – [KNOCK AT DOOR] – [FOOTSTEPS HURRY AWAY] [DOOR SLAMS DOWNSTAIRS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] Hello? [WOMAN] Hi, Owen. Did you get what I sent you? [OWEN] How did you [WOMAN] I’ve just been informed that you qualify as a hero candidate. – What does that mean? – [WOMAN] It’s a term we use for those who’ve been specifically selected for one of our studies. You’re a very desirable individual to us, Owen. I’ve never seen B. N. over-ratios like this before. What does a hero candidate do? [WOMAN] Exactly the things they were born to. In your case, helping us treat maladies ranging from sluggishness and depression to I. B. S, to popcorn problems and irrational fears. “Popcorn problems”? [WOMAN] Prostate problems, yes. Oh, I thought you [WOMAN] We’ll give you all the details when you come in. So, we’ll see you on Monday? Someday you’re gonna feel lonely [DOORBELL RINGS] Someday you’re gonna feel blue Someday you’ll long for me only Good evening, Mr. Milgrim. Everyone is on the patio for the recital. Thank you. Someday you’re gonna feel weary You’ll grieve when I’m far away Then you’ll be missin’ My huggin’ and my kissin’ You’ll remember what I say You’ll never know The good fellow I’ve been – Until I’ve gone away – Till I’ve gone away Gone away You’re bound to miss The little things that I did – I did[OWEN] Yes. [WOMAN] You made a promise to me, and you made a promise to yourself. You promised we’d golf together in Hilton Head. [MAN] You sense danger all around you, but you stay disciplined. A fight’s coming. Something even bigger than this world. Possibly extending to multiple galaxies. – [ELEVATOR] Fourth floor. Thank you. – [OWEN] Yes. Hello, Mrs. Finkelstein. Fuck off, Donovan. It’s, uh Owen. – Owen Milgrim – Fuck off, Donovan. Never mind. [MAN] Good. Does it feel good to be heard? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Does it feel good to know that you’re not alone with this information? [OWEN] Yeah. [MAN] Will you complete your mission? [OWEN] Maybe. [MAN] Am I a trusted messenger? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Good. Then here are your real instructions. Repeat after me. There is no pattern. [OWEN] There is no pattern. [MAN] I am vulnerable, but I am not stupid. [OWEN] I’m vulnerable, but I’m not stupid. [MAN] But I will seek out the people in my life that care about me. [OWEN] I will seek out the people in my life who care about me. [MAN] I am not the chosen one. [OWEN] I am not the chosen one. – [MAN] The voices aren’t real. – [CLATTERING] – [OWEN] The voices aren’t real. – The voices aren’t real. [MAN] The voices are just noise. – [OWEN] The voices are just noise. – The voices are just noise. [MAN] I am just a guy with a vivid imagination. [OWEN] I’m just a guy with a vivid imagination. [DOORBELL RINGS] [MAN] I will most likely not be the savior of our galaxy. Hello? [MAN, DISTORTED] I’ve got a package from Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech for an Owen Milgrim. What? [MAN] I’ve a package your name. [BUZZING] [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS] – [KNOCK AT DOOR] – [FOOTSTEPS HURRY AWAY] [DOOR SLAMS DOWNSTAIRS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] Hello? [WOMAN] Hi, Owen. Did you get what I sent you? [OWEN] How did you [WOMAN] I’ve just been informed that you qualify as a hero candidate. – What does that mean? – [WOMAN] It’s a term we use for those who’ve been specifically selected for one of our studies. You’re a very desirable individual to us, Owen. I’ve never seen B. N. over-ratios like this before. What does a hero candidate do? [WOMAN] Exactly the things they were born to. In your case, helping us treat maladies ranging from sluggishness and depression to I. B. S, to popcorn problems and irrational fears. “Popcorn problems”? [WOMAN] Prostate problems, yes. Oh, I thought you [WOMAN] We’ll give you all the details when you come in. So, we’ll see you on Monday? Someday you’re gonna feel lonely [DOORBELL RINGS] Someday you’re gonna feel blue Someday you’ll long for me only Good evening, Mr. Milgrim. Everyone is on the patio for the recital. Thank you. Someday you’re gonna feel weary You’ll grieve when I’m far away Then you’ll be missin’ My huggin’ and my kissin’ You’ll remember what I say You’ll never know The good fellow I’ve been – Until I’ve gone away – Till I’ve gone away Gone away You’re bound to miss The little things that I did – I did – For you each day – You’re gonna yearn – You will be yearning – For my returning – For my returning – You’re bound to miss me – You’re bound to miss me – You’ll long to kiss me – You’ll long to kiss me You’ll never know The good fellow I’ve been – Until I’ve gone away – Until I’ve gone away Till I’ve gone away [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] Thank you. Where does she sleep when she stays over? This one? Yeah, she’s your sister, right? Or is she a secret agent? How did you know? [WHISPERING] Because I have super-secret sources at a super-secret agency. Don’t tell anyone. [WHISPERS] Okay. Supper’s ready. Okay, Mom. I was completely baffled. You know, I left for school. Ernie was fine, and then, you know, the food was in the bowl. The water was there, cage was locked up, and I get back from basketball practice, – and he’s just gone, absolutely – The great gerbil escape artist. [LAUGHS] [OWEN] Yes. [WOMAN] You made a promise to me, and you made a promise to yourself. You promised we’d golf together in Hilton Head. [MAN] You sense danger all around you, but you stay disciplined. A fight’s coming. Something even bigger than this world. Possibly extending to multiple galaxies. – [ELEVATOR] Fourth floor. Thank you. – [OWEN] Yes. Hello, Mrs. Finkelstein. Fuck off, Donovan. It’s, uh Owen. – Owen Milgrim – Fuck off, Donovan. Never mind. [MAN] Good. Does it feel good to be heard? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Does it feel good to know that you’re not alone with this information? [OWEN] Yeah. [MAN] Will you complete your mission? [OWEN] Maybe. [MAN] Am I a trusted messenger? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Good. Then here are your real instructions. Repeat after me. There is no pattern. [OWEN] There is no pattern. [MAN] I am vulnerable, but I am not stupid. [OWEN] I’m vulnerable, but I’m not stupid. [MAN] But I will seek out the people in my life that care about me. [OWEN] I will seek out the people in my life who care about me. [MAN] I am not the chosen one. [OWEN] I am not the chosen one. – [MAN] The voices aren’t real. – [CLATTERING] – [OWEN] The voices aren’t real. – The voices aren’t real. [MAN] The voices are just noise. – [OWEN] The voices are just noise. – The voices are just noise. [MAN] I am just a guy with a vivid imagination. [OWEN] I’m just a guy with a vivid imagination. [DOORBELL RINGS] [MAN] I will most likely not be the savior of our galaxy. Hello? [MAN, DISTORTED] I’ve got a package from Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech for an Owen Milgrim. What? [MAN] I’ve a package your name. [BUZZING] [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS] – [KNOCK AT DOOR] – [FOOTSTEPS HURRY AWAY] [DOOR SLAMS DOWNSTAIRS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] Hello? [WOMAN] Hi, Owen. Did you get what I sent you? [OWEN] How did you [WOMAN] I’ve just been informed that you qualify as a hero candidate. – What does that mean? – [WOMAN] It’s a term we use for those who’ve been specifically selected for one of our studies. You’re a very desirable individual to us, Owen. I’ve never seen B. N. over-ratios like this before. What does a hero candidate do? [WOMAN] Exactly the things they were born to. In your case, helping us treat maladies ranging from sluggishness and depression to I. B. S, to popcorn problems and irrational fears. “Popcorn problems”? [WOMAN] Prostate problems, yes. Oh, I thought you [WOMAN] We’ll give you all the details when you come in. So, we’ll see you on Monday? Someday you’re gonna feel lonely [DOORBELL RINGS] Someday you’re gonna feel blue Someday you’ll long for me only Good evening, Mr. Milgrim. Everyone is on the patio for the recital. Thank you. Someday you’re gonna feel weary You’ll grieve when I’m far away Then you’ll be missin’ My huggin’ and my kissin’ You’ll remember what I say You’ll never know The good fellow I’ve been – Until I’ve gone away – Till I’ve gone away Gone away You’re bound to miss The little things that I did – I did

KNOW ME
YOU
TO GIVE TO
GOT A
AND I'VE
BUT I KNOW YOU
ARE U THERE?
ARE YOU THERE?
WELL U DON'T
MOTHER,
HOME?
THIS IS YOUR
IS ANYBODY

[MAN] Am I a trusted messenger? [OWEN] Yes. [MAN] Good. Then here are your real instructions. Repeat after me. There is no pattern. [OWEN] There is no pattern. [MAN] I am vulnerable, but I am not stupid. [OWEN] I’m vulnerable, but I’m not stupid. [MAN] But I will seek out the people in my life that care about me. [OWEN] I will seek out the people in my life who care about me. [MAN] I am not the chosen one. [OWEN] I am not the chosen one. – [MAN] The voices aren’t real. – [CLATTERING] – [OWEN] The voices aren’t real. – The voices aren’t real. [MAN] The voices are just noise. – [OWEN] The voices are just noise. – The voices are just noise. [MAN] I am just a guy with a vivid imagination. [OWEN] I’m just a guy with a vivid imagination. [DOORBELL RINGS] [MAN] I will most likely not be the savior of our galaxy. Hello? [MAN, DISTORTED] I’ve got a package from Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech for an Owen Milgrim. What? [MAN] I’ve a package your name. [BUZZING] [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS] – [KNOCK AT DOOR] – [FOOTSTEPS HURRY AWAY] [DOOR SLAMS DOWNSTAIRS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] Hello? [WOMAN] Hi, Owen. Did you get what I sent you? [OWEN] How did you [WOMAN] I’ve just been informed that you qualify as a hero candidate. – What does that mean? – [WOMAN] It’s a term we use for those who’ve been specifically selected for one of our studies. You’re a very desirable individual to us, Owen. I’ve never seen B. N. over-ratios like this before. What does a hero candidate do? [WOMAN] Exactly the things they were born to. In your case, helping us treat maladies ranging from sluggishness and depression to I. B. S, to popcorn problems and irrational fears. “Popcorn problems”? [WOMAN] Prostate problems, yes. Oh, I thought you [WOMAN] We’ll give you all the details when you come in. So, we’ll see you on Monday? Someday you’re gonna feel lonely [DOORBELL RINGS] Someday you’re gonna feel blue Someday you’ll long for me only Good evening, Mr. Milgrim. Everyone is on the patio for the recital. Thank you. Someday you’re gonna feel weary You’ll grieve when I’m far away Then you’ll be missin’ My huggin’ and my kissin’ You’ll remember what I say You’ll never know The good fellow I’ve been – Until I’ve gone away – Till I’ve gone away Gone away You’re bound to miss The little things that I did – I did – For you each day – You’re gonna yearn – You will be yearning – For my returning – For my returning – You’re bound to miss me – You’re bound to miss me – You’ll long to kiss me – You’ll long to kiss me You’ll never know The good fellow I’ve been – Until I’ve gone away – Until I’ve gone away Till I’ve gone away [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] Thank you. Where does she sleep when she stays over? This one? Yeah, she’s your sister, right? Or is she a secret agent? How did you know? [WHISPERING] Because I have super-secret sources at a super-secret agency. Don’t tell anyone. [WHISPERS] Okay. Supper’s ready. Okay, Mom. I was completely baffled. You know, I left for school. Ernie was fine, and then, you know, the food was in the bowl. The water was there, cage was locked up, and I get back from basketball practice, – and he’s just gone, absolutely – The great gerbil escape artist. [LAUGHS] – But he wasn’t exactly fucking gone. – Language, Phil. No, that’s correct. He wasn’t exactly fucking gone like that. – [HOSTESS] Language, Jed. – Where’d he go, O? Maybe you shouldn’t curse so much in front of the children. – Ah, come on. Tell the rest. – [HOSTESS] This is not a farmyard, boys. So, um, I ask everyone, right? Everyone’s looking around the whole house, everyone frantic, and finally Owen, you know, eventually comes up and brings me to his room How old were you then, Owen? Like, eight or somethin’? – Nine. – [JED] Eight or nine, whatever. And he says he says, “Uh, I have to tell you somethin’. My my hawk ate Ernie. “ “What?” And he points over there, and there’s this big fuckin’ red-tailed hawk sitting on his desk staring at me. What eight-year-old has a fuckin’ hawk? Uh, how did you have a hawk? Um, I rescued it from the park. I found it with a broken wing and brought it to my room and fed it. – Yeah, I forgot. – You’d feed him. That was the craziest part. He would feed it, like a mother bird, you know Oh, masticate No, no, no. Premasticate. – Yeah, premastication! – Jed was a chronic masticater. – How’d you know? – He’d go blind doing that. How long did you take care of the bird for, Owen? Two or three months, until it was strong enough to go into Jed’s room and eat his gerbil, I guess. [LAUGHTER] But what happened to the hawk? We set it free. Oh. Okay. [OWEN’S FATHER] That reminds me. Remember when Colby fell in the Gowanus Canal? – Remember that day? – [HOSTESS] Oh, poor Colby. – I threw the stick, he didn’t go for it – So traumatizing. [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] [WOMAN] I told Jed I wouldn’t marry him until they painted you in. Maybe that’s why we haven’t set a date yet. They’re gonna paint me in. The artist just took a six-month sabbatical to Nepal, to study the light. I lost my job. I’m sorry, Owen. It’s okay, I’ll find a new one. I’m actually thinking about becoming a temporary volunteer husband. You’re not serious. Get rid of my lease, bounce from widow to widow. Mm-mm. Do you ever notice that your plans always involve starting over often with an entirely new identity? It’s a good fantasy. [HOSTESS] Pudding’s upstairs by the fireplace, everyone. Just to get through the post-dinner conversation. Think about it. Seriously as a hypothetical. Say you and I left, right? Tonight. I got us passports, new identities. You steal all the money from Jed’s bank account. We just do that. We get a house in the middle of nowhere. Start again. Different people. Are we a married couple? We don’t We can be, you know We don’t have to be. We could be brother, or sister, or friends. So tonight, then, after dessert? Yeah. I’m serious. Let’s do it. You’re fucking with me. I got you. [LAUGHS] You believed me. This week’s gonna be a living hell for me. [OWEN SIGHS] He’ll totally win. He’s not guilty. No chance of a conviction. It’s all just so humiliating. I mean, it’s been going on for fucking ages, all just for one day in court. Because he didn’t do it, so You’re positive? Right? You were actually with him? Yes. – [MAN] You would make that move. – [JED] What does that even mean? – “Make that move”? – That’s the move Hey, Owen, you’re not trying to sneak off, are you? No, Dad. I need a second of your time before you leave. Come on, boys, it’s time. – [ALL] Balderdash! – Oh! – [HOSTESS] Owen, you’re staying to play. – No, I-I have to go. – I have something – You love Balderdash. No, I don’t. Come on, stay, it will be fun. I have a fundamental problem with Balderdash. I gotta say, what a delicious meal that was. – Sure was. – So good, Mom. So good. – You used to love Balderdash. – Oh, no, I didn’t. – [JED]  [LAUGHS] You believed me. This week’s gonna be a living hell for me. [OWEN SIGHS] He’ll totally win. He’s not guilty. No chance of a conviction. It’s all just so humiliating. I mean, it’s been going on for fucking ages, all just for one day in court. Because he didn’t do it, so You’re positive? Right? You were actually with him? Yes. – [MAN] You would make that move. – [JED] What does that even mean? – “Make that move”? – That’s the move Hey, Owen, you’re not trying to sneak off, are you? No, Dad. I need a second of your time before you leave. Come on, boys, it’s time. – [ALL] Balderdash! – Oh! – [HOSTESS] Owen, you’re staying to play. – No, I-I have to go. – I have something – You love Balderdash. No, I don’t. Come on, stay, it will be fun. I have a fundamental problem with Balderdash. I gotta say, what a delicious meal that was. – Sure was. – So good, Mom. So good. – You used to love Balderdash. – Oh, no, I didn’t.Who wants ice cream? – [CHILDREN YELLING] – Who wants ice cream? Oh, you do? – I do! Of course. But whoever’s the quietest gets ice cream, I promise. Mom. Oh, are we playing Balderdash, or what? So, um [CLEARS THROAT] I’ve been considering Considering leaving Roosevelt Island? – No – Oh, thank God. So, have Hal help you find something closer. – Oh, you moving closer? – I’m not moving closer. Crazy to think that every word did get invented. I-I have to go. Goodbye. – Wait, you’re not playing Balderdash? – No, I can’t. Bye. Oh, Owen, come on, you love Balderdash. No, I don’t fucking love Balderdash! Balderdash is bullshit. [CLEARS THROAT] – Jesus, Owen. – Is he off his meds? – [CHILD CRIES] – I’ll walk you to the station. – Don’t worry about Uncle Owen. – Aggressive. He’s a spaz. We’re gonna get ice cream now. – [OWEN’S FATHER] Is it a money crisis? – [OWEN] No. I know it’s an expensive apartment to rent, but Have you have you thought about a a roommate? No. I don’t know why you won’t let us just buy you a place. That way you’d have more security. Or you you could come and work for the company. All your brothers do. I already agreed, okay? You don’t need to buy me off. Uh I don’t I don’t follow you. What I will lie for Jed next week in court. I get the expectation. It’s not an expectation, Owen, it’s a gift. You are giving your brother the gift of an alibi. This woman is an opportunist. She sees an in. [LOUD MUSIC BLARES FROM CAR] [SIGHS] You’re protecting him. You’re protecting the family. I know, I know, it sounds muddled, but that is the way reality works, Owen. – How’s that, Dad? – [ROBOT CHATTERS] With with adjustments. Just so you know, I got a new job. Oh? What what job? Business marketing. It involves travel, so I’ll be gone a couple days next week, but I’ll be back in time for the trial. And don’t worry if you can’t reach me. Someone invented a new kind of ham. Oh. That’s that’s wonderful, Owen. That’s that’s that’s great. Milgrim men, we always come out on top. Anyway – All right. – [ROBOT CHATTERS] – [DOG WHIMPERS] – Hey, Colby, it’s a Tristan 500. – Cleaning in progress. – No kicking and licking. SANITATION NEBERDINE PHARMACEUTICAL BIOTECH [WOMAN SPEAKING IN JAPANESE OVER PA] [WOMAN OVER PA] Find the end of your rainbow at Neberdine Pharmaceutical and Biotech. Psst, buddy. Which one are you here for? It should be on the form right there. It says, uh, U. L. P. Me too. That’s a good one. It’s the big time. Get ready to make a lot of fuckin’ money. Don’t worry about Uncle Owen. – Aggressive. He’s a spaz. We’re gonna get ice cream now. – [OWEN’S FATHER] Is it a money crisis? – [OWEN] No. I know it’s an expensive apartment to rent, but Have you have you thought about a a roommate? No. I don’t know why you won’t let us just buy you a place. That way you’d have more security. Or you you could come and work for the company. All your brothers do. I already agreed, okay? You don’t need to buy me off. Uh I don’t I don’t follow you. What I will lie for Jed next week in court. I get the expectation. It’s not an expectation, Owen, it’s a gift. You are giving your brother the gift of an alibi. This woman is an opportunist. She sees an in. [LOUD MUSIC BLARES FROM CAR] [SIGHS] You’re protecting him. You’re protecting the family. I know, I know, it sounds muddled, but that is the way reality works, Owen. – How’s that, Dad? – [ROBOT CHATTERS] With with adjustments. Just so you know, I got a new job. Oh? What what job? Business marketing. It involves travel, so I’ll be gone a couple days next week, but I’ll be back in time for the trial. And don’t worry if you can’t reach me. Someone invented a new kind of ham. Oh. That’s that’s wonderful, Owen. That’s that’s that’s great. Milgrim men, we always come out on top. Anyway – All right. – [ROBOT CHATTERS] – [DOG WHIMPERS] – Hey, Colby, it’s a Tristan 500. – Cleaning in progress. – No kicking and licking. SANITATION NEBERDINE PHARMACEUTICAL BIOTECH [WOMAN SPEAKING IN JAPANESE OVER PA] [WOMAN OVER PA] Find the end of your rainbow at Neberdine Pharmaceutical and Biotech. Psst, buddy. Which one are you here for? It should be on the form right there. It says, uh, U. L. P. Me too. That’s a good one. It’s the big time. Get ready to make a lot of fuckin’ money. [WOMAN OVER PA] Carol Cuddy. Carol Cuddy, please report to D. M. test room three for A. E. B Phase I. What do the bombs mean? High-risk. That’s where the dollars come from. Apparently, they’re havin’ some kind of problem with this new drug. – I think you should let me do it again. – Strong stuff. Very trippy shit. – [WOMAN] Who’s in charge of the red light? – That doesn’t bother you? – No. – I don’t fucking understand. – No risk, no reward. – I’m supposed to be part of the trial. – [WOMAN] I’m sorry. – This is fucking bullshit. [WOMAN OVER PA] John Mallory, please report to D. M. test room one. John Mallory, please report to D. M. test room one for Rumi Phase III. [WOMAN] Patricia. Patricia.[WOMAN OVER PA] Carol Cuddy. Carol Cuddy, please report to D. M. test room three for A. E. B Phase I. What do the bombs mean? High-risk. That’s where the dollars come from. Apparently, they’re havin’ some kind of problem with this new drug. – I think you should let me do it again. – Strong stuff. Very trippy shit. – [WOMAN] Who’s in charge of the red light? – That doesn’t bother you? – No. – I don’t fucking understand. – No risk, no reward. – I’m supposed to be part of the trial. – [WOMAN] I’m sorry. – This is fucking bullshit. [WOMAN OVER PA] John Mallory, please report to D. M. test room one. John Mallory, please report to D. M. test room one for Rumi Phase III. [WOMAN] Patricia. Patricia.Don’t worry about Uncle Owen. – Aggressive. He’s a spaz. We’re gonna get ice cream now. – [OWEN’S FATHER] Is it a money crisis? – [OWEN] No. I know it’s an expensive apartment to rent, but Have you have you thought about a a roommate? No. I don’t know why you won’t let us just buy you a place. That way you’d have more security. Or you you could come and work for the company. All your brothers do. I already agreed, okay? You don’t need to buy me off. Uh I don’t I don’t follow you. What I will lie for Jed next week in court. I get the expectation. It’s not an expectation, Owen, it’s a gift. You are giving your brother the gift of an alibi. This woman is an opportunist. She sees an in. [LOUD MUSIC BLARES FROM CAR] [SIGHS] You’re protecting him. You’re protecting the family. I know, I know, it sounds muddled, but that is the way reality works, Owen. – How’s that, Dad? – [ROBOT CHATTERS] With with adjustments. Just so you know, I got a new job. Oh? What what job? Business marketing. It involves travel, so I’ll be gone a couple days next week, but I’ll be back in time for the trial. And don’t worry if you can’t reach me. Someone invented a new kind of ham. Oh. That’s that’s wonderful, Owen. That’s that’s that’s great. Milgrim men, we always come out on top. Anyway – All right. – [ROBOT CHATTERS] – [DOG WHIMPERS] – Hey, Colby, it’s a Tristan 500. – Cleaning in progress. – No kicking and licking. SANITATION NEBERDINE PHARMACEUTICAL BIOTECH [WOMAN SPEAKING IN JAPANESE OVER PA] [WOMAN OVER PA] Find the end of your rainbow at Neberdine Pharmaceutical and Biotech. Psst, buddy. Which one are you here for? It should be on the form right there. It says, uh, U. L. P. Me too. That’s a good one. It’s the big time. Get ready to make a lot of fuckin’ money. [WOMAN OVER PA] Carol Cuddy. Carol Cuddy, please report to D. M. test room three for A. E. B Phase I. What do the bombs mean? High-risk. That’s where the dollars come from. Apparently, they’re havin’ some kind of problem with this new drug. – I think you should let me do it again. – Strong stuff. Very trippy shit. – [WOMAN] Who’s in charge of the red light? – That doesn’t bother you? – No. – I don’t fucking understand. – No risk, no reward. – I’m supposed to be part of the trial. – [WOMAN] I’m sorry. – This is fucking bullshit. [WOMAN OVER PA] John Mallory, please report to D. M. test room one. John Mallory, please report to D. M. test room one for Rumi Phase III. [WOMAN] Patricia. Patricia.

AT THE SOUND OF THE TONE
BUT IF YOU WANNA LEAVE A MESSAGE
BUT IF YOU WANNA LEAVE A MSG
HI , I'M NOT HOME RIGHT NOW

[MEN SPEAKING JAPANESE] – [WOMAN] I have to get into that study. – [SECOND WOMAN] Ma’am? You have a daughter. Her name is Usnavy, and she goes to Hunter College. [WOMAN OVER PA] Owen Milgrim, please report to D. M. test room five. Owen Milgrim, please report to D. M. test room five for U. L. P. screening. Steven McDougal, please report to test room eight. Steven McDougal, please report to test room eight for M. S. One Phase II. [OWEN] Unnecessary. [WOMAN] Try to answer with an emotion, rather than a description. Uh calm. [TYPING] [OWEN] Justice. [TYPING] – Is this personalized somehow? – [WOMAN] No. Focus on your answers. – Suffocated. – [WOMAN] Good. [TYPING] Now, Mr. Milgrim please turn your attention to me as I ask you this final question. Are you gonna ask it? – Does that disqualify me? – [MACHINE BEEPS] Your defense mechanisms are fungible. You’ve been accepted. [WOMAN SPEAKING IN JAPANESE OVER PA] [WOMAN OVER PA] Find the end of your rainbow at Neberdine Pharmaceutical and Biotech. Stop looking at me. Did did you Did you lose your husband recently? Huh? Did you lose your husband recently? No. – But I just saw – Leave me alone. Do you play golf in Hilton Head? I’ll kill you. I have a gun. [WOMAN OVER PA] Attention, please, all participants in the U. L. P. Phase III trial, please look at your lanyards. If you are an odd number, please line up at the intake corridor. All even numbers will be next. [MAN CLEARS THROAT] [SUCKS TEETH] It’s Jed. No, it’s Grimsson. Mustache. No, don’t say anything. Just be cool. The pattern is the pattern. The pattern got you here. Keep trusting the pattern. She’s your handler now. She has a certain je ne sais quoi. She’s no Olivia, though. Make contact with her. Use the code phrase. [WOMAN OVER PA] If you are an odd number, please line up at the intake corridor. The pattern is the pattern. I know it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense to me either right now, but it will. Keep going forward. Just reach out and make contact. [WOMAN OVER PA] All odd numbers, line up by the intake corridor. What the fuck is wrong with you? Sorry. [BLEEPING] [BLEEPING CONTINUES] Robert. [MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY] Robert. Robert, wake up. [GRUNTS] The odds are here. Okay. Let us complete this trial with none of the old problems, sir. Yes, Dr. Fujita. None of the old problems. [ORDERLY] As you enter the common room, you will notice there are numbers on the pods. The pod numbers correspond with the numbers on your lanyards. Please go to your pod. That will be your home for the duration of your stay here with us. Leaving your pod at any unauthorized moment will result in the termination of your stay here at this trial, as well as bringing shame and humiliation upon you. Once you reach your pod, an orderly will approach and begin to inspect your bag. Once the orderly has inspected your bag, you will put your bag in your locker. Once you have done that, make your way to this gentleman. He will give you your uniform, as well as your patented Neberdine shoes, which you cannot take with you at the end of the trial. Once you have your uniforms and your shoes, you will make your way back to your pods, then you will get in your pods and change clothes in your pods. There will be no changing in the commons. Oh, my God! [ORDERLY] Condoms are contraband. – Safety first. – [ORDERLY] That’s a red flag right there. Intimacy in this facility is off-limits. There will be no cohabitation inside the pods. Once the curfew starts, lights go out. You’re not supposed to be here. Please. What are my instructions? The pattern is the pattern. You’re my contact. What are my instructions? [WHISPERING] Please turn off the pattern. Please turn off – Owen. – [ORDERLY] tight schedule. We will tell you when there is mealtime. Your instructions are to go back to your pod and await my signal. [ORDERLY] two Etch A Sketches and one Lite-Brite. Please don’t fight over them. I’m going to save the world. We will tell you when there’s recreation time. – Yes. – We will also tell you when – You’re gonna save the world. – And we will tell you when to sleep. – But not if you blow our cover. – [ORDERLY] expecting. Thank you. Is that working for you? Okay, I understand. If you’re having trouble getting into your pod, there is also a little ladder underneath that will help you get into your pod. Also note, from here on in, you will be referred to as the number on your lanyard. You are the Odds. Attention. Please give your attention to Dr. Muramoto and Dr. Fujita. They will be supervising your trials. [SPEAKING IN JAPANESE] Welcome, subjects. You made the right choice. It’s time to start your lives again. You don’t fuck this up I won’t fuck this up. Just kidding.  [SIGHS] You’re the last one. And then it is fuck you forever. [CRUNCHES] [BREAKS IT AS IF IT IS COCAINE] [PUFFS] [SNIFFS HARD] [TV PLAYING “FLASH GORDON”] You have not lost. There is a way. A way for you to hold in your hand the power of the galaxy. What do you mean? We thought to use all of this to conquer only Neptune. But why? Why merely Neptune? That gives you the power to control every planet in the galaxy. Yes. Yes. Every planet in the galaxy. I can penetrate into the most secret chambers of the galaxy. [HUFFS AND SNIFFS] [CLOCK TICKING] – [TYPES] – [COMPUTER BEEPS, PRINTER PRINTS] Fuck you. [PEOPLE CHATTERING] HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DOG? “GROUCHO” VERY GENEROUS REWARD! [ADBUDDY-AUDRA] “Silken smooth, and shiny, and soft, these curls won’t abandon you. Creamazone means lasting hold and definition. “ You ready for another one? Do I have a choice? Oh, your options with AdBuddies are limitless. Okay? That’s what makes us superior to PallyAds. I was joking. – “Not enough time – Wait, when you say “limitless” do you mean actually limitless? Like, if I needed a bus ticket to Salt Lake City and I brought you with me to pay for it? I mean, not necessarily you, specifically, but one of you to pay for the hotel and meals, and the bus ticket back, would that be possible? No one’s ever asked me that. Well, it would require you to view thousands of ads, but Yes, I suppose it could be possible. If that was, um What? Sounds like it might be kind of fun. Yeah. [ADBUDDY-AUDRA] What’s in Salt Lake City? Um, my little sister. I owe her a visit. [SLURPS SPAGHETTI] [TV PLAYING] I’m gonna read you this time because I am healthy Annie now, and healthy people read books and travel, and exercise and take care of their minds. – Where’s Jackie? – [ROOMMATE] She’s in the shitter. What the fuck? Did you take my money? Yeah, I took your money. You haven’t paid rent in three months. I haven’t had a job in five months. Well, maybe you should be a little more goal-oriented. Can I at least have 20 bucks? Yes. [AUTOMATED VOICE] Cleaning is progress. Error. Error. [AUTOMATED MACHINE WHIZZES] Can’t be processed. Error. Can’t be processed. Error. Error. Can’t be processed. Error. Can’t be processed. Error. Error. Can’t be processed. Can’t be processed. Error. Error. Godspeed, little shit-eater. [AUTOMATED MACHINE IMITATES DOG BARKING] [ANNIE] Hello? Are you dead? [HANK] No. Good. You gonna come out today? Your yard is a fucking mess. [HANK] “All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare. “ Mmm. Is that Rilke? [HANK] Spinoza. I like it. I just came by to tell you I’m gonna go away for a while. I was thinking about taking the bus to Salt Lake, go see Ellie. You could come. We could go together. [HANK] Oh, I’m really busy right now. Is the combination to the safe still the same? I just need to borrow a little bit for my bus ticket. [HANK] I changed it. To what? [HANK] Your birthday. Got tired of thinking of your mother every time. Promise me you’re gonna eat while I’m gone? I got you cereal. [HANK] Apple Jacks? Of course. Hey, maybe when I’m back we could go to Totonno’s for dinner. [HANK] Maybe. Okay. Love you, Dad. [TRAFFIC NOISES] [TV PLAYING] [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 12:25 – 706 – SALT LAKE, GATE 14 BUS INFORMATION [LETTERS ON BOARD ROTATING] Fuck you. [ANNIE] I need more. [PEOPLE LAUGHING] I can’t. But why, though? [KOALA] That’s a great move, dude-wad. You dirty motherfucker. [KOALA] Come on, bud. Calvin. It was a one-time thing. My dad had a mini-stroke after I stole ‘em. Why do you even like that ULP shit? – It’s dark. – So, what if I really, really need some more, however I can get it? [KOALA] I don’t got all day here, pal. Sign up for a Neberdine study. Help make my dad’s company millions. That’s it, I just sign up? – [KOALA] That was pathetic. – No. – They screen you. – [KOALA] Checkmate. You could be testing deodorant for a week. I’m fucked. – Just lost a hundred dollars. – [KOALA] What’s yours is mine now, bitch. Hey. Hey, you’re my friend. Yeah? – And can I say something, as your friend? – Sure, yeah. You sound like a junkie. I’m not a junkie. I’m a recreational drug user. Like you, by the way. – What is the name of the person at intake? – I can’t tell you that. ULP’s gotten way more secretive since the suicides. [ANNIE] Give me a name. Gesundheit. Gesundheit!! [KOALA] Rude. Lugo. Patricia Lugo. Patricia Lugo. Thank you. [KOALA] Nice friend. It’s yours. [KOALA] Right into the eucalyptus fund. [MATT] Three hundred to get started. – [ANNIE] To blackmail somebody? – Yeah. Okey-dokey. Who’s your target? [MATT MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] I can’t read your handwriting. Patricia Lugo. [TYPING] She’s the intake director at Neberdine Pharmaceuticals and Biotech. You going in and getting high and robbing the place? [CHUCKLES] Patricia Lugo, Nerberdine Pharmaceuticals Biotech. She paid Zip Dox to have her public arrest records scrubbed. Zip Dox is Shit Dox. Easy to unscrub. [DOOR-BELLS JINGLE] This is legal, right? Think we’d have it on the storefront if the Banner Act didn’t make it legal? Yes. You gotta pay us more than she paid Shit Dox. Five hundred. [WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE] You get a free calendar. [WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE] [MATT] Patricia Lugo. Gambling addict, disorderly arrest in Atlantic City. Lost custody of her daughter, Usnavy. Goes to Hunter. Good job, had it for 18 months. Probably had records scrubbed so she could get it. You want the whole skeleton-closet file? I could threaten to kidnap the daughter too. [ANNIE] No. – That shit always works. – No, it’s fine. I don’t – I don’t want to harm her in any way. – [MATT] Uh-huh. Okay. Here’s your calendar. Other options. Volunteers at CP Center, user of Friend Proxy, pays way too much for luggage Wait, Friend Proxy? Does she have appointments coming up? Ah Interception. Hm? [BIRDS CHIRPING] Patricia? Juanita. [CHUCKLES] [LAUGHS] Oh! Hey. – It’s so good to see you again. – You too. You too. You know, um, every time I walk in this place, I get pulled back into this room, you know? Oh, me too. Me too. I just love little trees. I meant because of how we met. – Right here. – Sure. – At the bonsais. – Oh, yeah. That too. That too. Do you remember that summer? How much fun we had, right? – [LAUGHS] – Oh! Running up and down Coney every day Eating icy pops. Yeah, when we took the train, with Uncle Liam. Now, who the fuck is Uncle Liam? I’m sorry. I I don’t Do you want to start over or something? Seriously? What, then, you new? No. I’m What ? What’s your rating? ‘Cause you really don’t have a very good feel for people, honey. You’re using a service that gives you pretend friends. I have real friends. This is just more convenient. Mm-hmm. Oh, you have friends? You know what? I don’t even work for Friend Proxy. All right? I canceled your appointment, and I am here to fuck up your life, lady. I’m gonna blackmail the shit out of you. What? [PATRICIA] What? What are you talking about? Who are you? Forget it. I’m sorry. – No, no, no, no, wait. Who are you? – No, I’m really sorry, okay? I’m sorry. – [BIRDS CHIRPING] – [WATER FLOWING] Hey. Can I sit with you? I’m just trying to understand. I’m a bit confused. Am I a mark? Yeah. For what? I’m I’m broke. I was trying to get into a study at your work. And I said I’m sorry, so can you leave now, please? Why? – I really don’t need – No, really, I’m asking you why? Is this some AA shit? I’m enjoying this pond. You remind me of my little girl, that’s all. If there’s anything I can help So why? Because I am addicted to a drug that your company’s testing. That’s not the “why” I’m asking. What “why” are you asking? Five years ago, my sister and I got into a really bad fight. Very, very bad. And I can’t fix it. So there’s this rock that sits in my stomach, this cold rock. Like a boulder, and it’s just there all the time. And I found this pill It helps me get through the day. It’s not hurting anyone. And it makes me feel good. It is the only thing that makes me feel good. Have you tried talking to her? I can’t. Why shouldn’t I be able to take a pill like that whenever I want? You should, hon. If it ain’t hurting anyone. Hmm? [PEOPLE CHATTERING] Super happy. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] Helpful. Togetherness. You don’t have to rush. Okay. Sorry. Sisters. Making faces at each other. It’s supposed to be an emotion. What you feel. Fine. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] [WOMAN] Now, please turn your attention to me as I ask you this final question. [MACHINE BUZZES] The test is complete. Please go back to the reception area and wait. Did I ? Did I pass the test? What was that last question? I was telling the truth about all those pictures. – [WOMAN] This test is not about the truth. – Well, what is it about? Defense mechanisms. I don’t have fucking defense mechanisms. I think you should let me do it again. Who’s in charge of the red light? I I don’t fucking understand because I am supposed to be part of the trial. [WOMAN] I’m sorry. This is fucking bullshit. [ANNIE] Patricia. Patricia. No. No, no, no, no, no. No more favors. I got bosses around. No more. Go. – [WHISPERING] We had a deal. – I said I could funnel you through ULP. You failed the intake test. It is out of my hands. No, I have to get into that study, Patricia. All the way. I can’t. Move on, please. There you go. Thank you. [ANNIE] Patricia, may I speak with you, please? You have a daughter. Her name is Usnavy, and she goes to Hunter College. And if you don’t get me into that study, you’re never gonna see her again. What? Yeah, I know a guy who has a van, and if anything happens to me, he knows what to do. You’re fucking crazy. I’m not fucking crazy, Patricia. I’m just goal-oriented. Two minutes. Go sit over there. [WOMAN OVER PA] Owen Milgrim, please report to DM Test Room five. Owen Milgrim, please report to DM Test Room five for ULP screening. [WOMAN] What’s the color? This one’s the same, that’s Well, I guess it’s kind of gray. – Hi. Excuse me. – Hi. I have some good news. We’re going to upgrade you. Oh. Just between you and me, it’s a much, much safer trial. Okay. Um, does it have the same pay? – You just hand this over to me. – Okay. And you can go and talk to my colleague over there at the desk, and sort it all out. Okay. So so, what do you mean, “safer trial”? It’s fine. Your daughter is safe. For now. The human brain is vast as the cosmos, and equally unexplored. We here at Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech are pioneering a revolutionary procedure that will unlock the secret mysteries of the mind, and replace old-fashioned talk therapy forever. Sorry, Sigmund. Hello. I’m Dr. James K. Mantleray. And I’m Dr. Robert Muramoto. Welcome to Phase III of the ULP testing. You are not only participants in a pharmaceutical drug trial, you are pioneers at the forefront of a new world. You may notice you’re here with 11 other subjects. But don’t worry, your experiences here, likely very powerful, will be private and discreet, and entirely your own. No one sees into your heads And the multiple fantasy cells hiding inside there. but us. Now you’re probably wondering, “How does it work?” And it’s simple. Three pills taken in three steps analyzed by the most sophisticated mega-computer ever developed: the GRTA. [GRTA] Hello, friends. I’m a smart computer. After ingesting the pills, the GRTA’s cutting-edge artificial intelligence will identify, map, and confront the learned programming of your brain. At the end of this trial, don’t be surprised if you experience pure, unaffected joy. [GRTA] You’ll be born again, but not as a baby. [MANTLERAY] Now, let’s take a closer look. PILL A: The diagnostic stage. Pill A seeks out your core traumas and pulls them to the surface. We call it Agonia. Through your memories, we’ll see the worst moments of your life. But don’t worry it’s safe. We observe, using powerful microwave technology, the known and unknown anchors of pain in your personal history in order to create an arborization map that the GRTA will use as a guide for pills B and C. PILL B: Behavioral. – Time to show your – Blind spots! Unfortunately, the brain is remarkably skilled at protecting itself. With the second pill, you can identify self-defense mechanisms, blind spots, and the mazes and walls that your mind creates to hide yourself from you. Finally, it’s time for confrontation. PILL C: Confrexia. This is what has eluded psychoanalysts since the discovery of the unconscious. The end of the rainbow. Confrontation and acceptance. Once we’ve identified your core traumas and mapped your bio-psycho-social symptoms, the GRTA mega-computer remaps a more efficient system, custom-tailored to you, forging healthier pathways with powerful, non-surgical microwave technologies. Welcome to the start of your new life. Welcome to the start of your new life. You will never be the same again. Any questions? [MURAMOTO] Good. Even subjects, we’ll provide you with your pre-weighed meal, as the odd-numbered subjects begin the trial. [CARL] Odd-numbered subjects, I assume you know who you are by now, please stand up, form a line, and get ready to begin your trials. [CARL] As for the rest of you, please just sit tight. We’ll get to you soon. [EQUIPMENT BEEPING] [CARL] Line up in order, please. Number one in the front. [WHISPERS] Everybody thought I was crazy, but they were all wrong. – All right. – [WHISPERS] We’ll talk about this later. [CARL] Number nine. [MURAMOTO] “I dried my tears and armed my fears With ten thousand shields and spears. Soon my Angel came again; I was armed, he came in vain; For the time of youth was fled, And grey hairs were on my head. “ [EQUIPMENT BEEPING] [GRTA] Oh, Robert, how poetic. I’m glad you like it. [GRTA] Oh, I loved it. Now back I go, into their minds. [CARL] One, three, five, seven, nine, eleven. When you reach your seats, you can put on your aprons. – [MAN] What’s the vest for? – [CARL] Check number one’s headrest. It’s like being at a dentist’s office. – What’s the vest for? – [CARL] Precautionary. Did they say anything about radiation? Precautionary. The vest protects your important parts from the nominal amount of residual headset radiation. Can you check number one, please? [EQUIPMENT BEEPING] Final stages checks, please. – Cooling. – [MAN] Operational. – Electrical. – [MAN] Stable. [AZUMI] Med profile. – [GRTA] Uploaded and carved out. – [CARL] Take one of each. I can see Gertie’s safety net is supple and responsive. She liked what you read. I know. [CARL] Take one of each. Take one of each, please. Wait! Dr. Fujita will tell you when you can take it. The data we collect from our subjects, in the next three days, is absolutely vital to the success of this trial. What’s more, their lives are in our hands. No more mistakes.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE] [FUJITA] Subjects, please ingest your pill with your water. [MACHINE CLINKS] [POWER LOADING] [MACHINERY WHIRLS] Visual check clear. Go to blue? Going to blue. Let’s lay them down gently, people. Hard entry is our enemy. [EQUIPMENT BEEPS] [GIRL HUMMING] [EAGLE SCREAMS] [AUTOMATED VOICE] Tank is full. Please remove nozzle. Have a nice day. Think fast. [YELPS] Oh. [ELLIE] There’s 24,000 words in there. [ANNIE] What? [ELLIE] You know picture? Oh. Twenty-four thousand words. [LAUGHS] Cute. How many words is that? One. [ENGINE TURNS OVER] [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] – [ANNIE] Okay, ‘80s. – [ELLIE] There’s a supernatural element. [ANNIE] Yep, but it has to make you cry. – [ELLIE] Oh, it’s this one. – Oh-oh. It’s a body-switch movie. He’s him, and he’s him. And they crashed their dirt bikes into each other, they woke up in the hospital, and they’ve switched bodies. And the young one has been masturbating constantly. Now they’re on this hijinks-filled wackadoo road trip that ends with a secret sect of Utah businessmen that, um mmm practice soul-swapping. I’m surprised you didn’t add sodomy. That’s pretty light for you. Well, I’m not finished yet. It’s tragic, because that old man is now in this young body, and he’s gonna leave his grandson, just ditch him, and let him slip off into Alzheimer’s. There she is. I’m actually pissed about this. Hey! Hey! I see you, motherfucker! That wasn’t your body in the first place! You got to give it back! You can’t cheat Father Time! [BOTH LAUGH] [ANNIE] Apparently in Colorado, fast lane means slow lane. [ELLIE] Oh, my God! That’s a bumpy road! To the left. To your left. – [ELLIE] Okay. – Right now, it looks like you’re sort of, like, fondling the underside of it. – I am not. What am I supposed to do? – Just, like, give it some gumption. – That’s perfect. Like that? – Yes! [ANNIE] Stay there. Stay. One. Two. [CAMERA CLICKS] Three. That’s really funny. Can I have the camera back, please? No. It’s pretty. I wanted to take a nice picture. Well, I am the designated documentarian, so no. [ANNIE OPENS AND CLOSES CAR’S DOOR] [TRAFFIC NOISES] [ELLIE] Yeah, I know. I gotta go. – [MAN] Love you. – Love you too. [MAN] See you soon, honey. – Bye. – [MAN] Bye. [BOTH SIGH] [YAWNS] I like this. What? Just doing something with you. I don’t know, it’s – It’s been a while. – Was that Mom that you were talking to just now? No, that was Ben. I just told him that we’d be there by tomorrow night. I just figured because you and Mom have reconnected or whatever. [ELLIE] I didn’t reconnect with her, okay? She wrote me a letter, said it was an emergency, that she needed something, – so I called her back, once. – [ANNIE] Oh, my God. – Here, take it. Read it. – No. God. – I’m not mad. – I didn’t say you were. – Stop. – I didn’t say you were mad. Let’s watch a movie. – [MAN ON TV] Nothing to think over. – Okay. [MAN ON TV] They’re trying to say that I’m in a gang. – They think that I’m the leader of a gang. – [WOMAN] Well, you told them. – [REMOTE CLICKS] – You waste his time and mine. – Oh, no, thank you. – No, can we ? Stop, I like this movie. I like it. Leave it. [MAN] He requires more serious [ANNIE SIGHS] [LAUGHING] Annie’s favorite. [ANNIE] I can’t believe you like this fantasy shit. [ELLIE IN AN ELF VOICE] But it’s real. Annie, I’m Ellia, your cursed Elven sister. Rescue me. [CHUCKLES] From what? From a normal life. That is all on you. [NORMAL VOICE] Okay. I’ve got a fantasy for you. – [ANNIE TURNS OFF TV] – About a girl moving her life to Salt Lake City, because that’s where her fiancé has been transferred because she thinks it’d make her happy. But she But she’s afraid of a nice family that stays together a nice job, nice kids. Afraid because maybe she can’t maintain that stability. Maybe she’ll just realize that isn’t what she wanted, and she’ll just fuck it all up and her kids along with it. But she doesn’t. It works. It works out fine. Sounds like a fantasy of someone who gave up. You have such a thing. – [ANNIE] A thing? – [ELLIE] Mm-hmm. With, like, going eight levels too harsh. – No, don’t do that. – [ELLIE] Do what? Don’t guess what you think I think and then say it like it’s coming from you. You don’t think that I have my own doubts, Annie? You’re so caught up with your own narcissism. – I’m sorry, my narcissism? – The fact you can’t take care of anything, – or keep one relationship going. – I’m sorry about your dog. Your fucking Mom-like narcissism. – I loved him too! – Even the whole armpit pictures. What point are you trying to make? That I’m fucking stupid for wanting to remember a nice trip? Because I’m sad. I’m sad that I’m moving away from you! It’s hard to talk to you when you’re this emotional. You’re the one acting like Mom. You know, I have my things too, I just I just don’t broadcast them to the world. Is that what I do? You also fucking lie constantly. Every second, of every day, of your entire fucking life is broadcasting how normal you are. [SMIRKS] You’re so desperate for someone to tell you you’re okay. [HUFFS AND LAUGHS] I don’t know how this started. I’m sorry. I was just trying to talk to you. You don’t have to shut down just because I’m saying something real. I’m not shutting down. Can I say one last real thing? Every time I think of New York, without you in it This is seriously true, this isn’t a lie. I feel happy. Because now I won’t have to feel bad about not calling you, or doing anything with you. You’ll be far away. And we can grow apart and we won’t have to pretend we didn’t. I’m gonna miss you too, Annie. Do you want to take an actual picture? Of both of us? – I’m not stupid. – What? It’s the perfect time to fuck with me again. No, I’m not fucking with you. I’m not. I’m being serious. Okay. I do want to remember this. My The camera is in my bag. Here, I’ll take it. – Hold the wheel. – Okay. [ANNIE] They should have, like, a stick for something like this. Three. Two. – One. [CAMERA CLICKS] – That’s so annoying. That was fucking funny. No, it’s not funny anymore. – Give it to me. – Come on. – Annie No, I bought it. – Ellie, stop. Come on. – I did take a picture of my armpit. – Why won’t you take the picture? – [BRAKES AND TIRES SQUEALING] – [CAR CRASHES] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [WHIMPERS] [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [BUZZER SOUNDS]   [DISQUIETING CLASSICAL MUSIC] [AZUMI] Ten seconds until reentry, people. [MAN] Here they come. [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [D’NAIL] Huh? What was that? It was fucking unethical. You waived ethics in your consent form. Talk to me. Are we liking what we’re seeing on the neuromatrices? [MAN] Clean narrative data from all but Subject One. [WOMAN] I’m not positive he was actually down. – [AZUMI] What about Nine? – [WOMAN] I don’t know what to tell you. Brain structure tells me she’s been there many times before. [MAN] She’s already got the grooves of this narrative. That was, uh overwhelming. – Wait till you take the second one. – [AZUMI] Friendly reminder, please do not discuss your experience with any other subjects. Post-phase evaluations will occur in ascending order, so please settle in and wait comfortably in the commons until your number is called. [MURAMOTO] Mr. One, please report to the post-exam test room. Thank you. Please describe your emotional state upon waking from the pill. Um Fragile. Maybe sad. [MURAMOTO] Mm-hmm. Also hungry. You need snack? Bleeding. [MURAMOTO] Emotional state. Emotions. Bleeding. Internally. You look tired. I’m exhausted. And devastated. But satisfied. I want to know more about the second pill. [MURAMOTO] Why? I just do. Um S I’m speechless. Anything else? [INHALES DEEPLY] I’m speechless. I’ll trust you too. I won’t count it. [LAUGHING] [AMELIA] For me, it was a hurricane. Horrible. It took my Herbert. You like the complicated ones, I see. – [ANNIE] I’m so sorry to hear that. – [AMELIA] It wasn’t the best of marriages. – I don’t even know her. – [ANNIE] Are any of them? – Nothing to be ashamed of. – [AMELIA] Don’t say that. These places all end up like camp. Everyone falls in love in two hours. It can get silly. – [ANNIE] You haven’t remarried? – [AMELIA] I would never. I was on a Phase I of a GI treatment in Houston, one of the rats proposed on the second day. Of course, by that time we all had the radioactive shits. You know what was odd though? What the pill made me see was not like I remember it. Was that a memory, or was it something else? [CARL] One, Five, Nine. Dr. Muramoto wants to see you in his office. – [RAYMOND] We’ve been red-flagged. – What does that mean? I do 20, 30 of these a year all over the country. It’s good money if you can work the system. When they call you in right away, that means they caught something. What do they usually do? Enhanced interrogation? Enhanced interrogation? No. They red flag you, they mark your file, they ask you a bunch of questions. They’re gonna document the case so they don’t have to pay. – Then they kick you out. – I didn’t do anything wrong. Every time, it doesn’t matter what you say. Mr. Five, come in. [MOUTHING] We’re fucked. I didn’t take the pill in case you needed to activate me. [CLEARS THROAT] Owen I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I sort of I kind of lied to get into the study, and it seemed like you might be a problem, so I just said what you needed to hear. But you knew my name. I saw you in the ads. You said there was a larger pattern. Well, I knew your name because they said it on the intercom at reception. And the ads, I sold my face to a stock service four years ago, so it’s And as far as I can tell, there is no plan or pattern to the universe. It’s just chaos. I’m sorry. Why are you here? Your turn. Yo, can I get my condoms back? – [CARL] You don’t get those condoms back. – [RAYMOND CHUCKLES] Really sorry for the confusion. There are inconsistencies with your participation in this study. Oh, okay. [MURAMOTO] And I’m gonna need you to recount what happened in your mind after taking the pill, and verify your experience of your core trauma. It’s supposed to be the worst day of your life, right? [MURAMOTO] Is that what you experienced? It was intense. Describe intense with details. Well, when I took the “A” pill the light changed [JAZZ PIANO PLAYS] and I was standing in my parents’ house. Gimlet? Oh, what’s that? It’s a gimlet. Thanks. [OWEN] It was seven months ago, my brother’s engagement party, and I had just switched to a new medication. You like her, don’t you? Yeah, Adelaide’s great. [JED] I mean, you really like her. What do you want, Jed? Listen, I I wanted to I wanted to ask you directly, you know, because sometimes You’re gonna help me out, right? So long as you didn’t do it. I did I didn’t do it. God [MAN] Nice to meet you. It really doesn’t matter what happened, right? You of all people would understand that. Of course it matters. It’s the only thing that matters. – Oh, what’s real matters? – Yes. Okay. Hilarious. Hilarious, but okay. [EXHALES] Can I ask you something? Can you imagine what Mom and Dad would do if they found out you had another incident? Maybe write threatening letters to very powerful people. The mayor, the head of the FBI, Secret Service. Tell them how you see a pattern in the universe, and how you have to take ‘em down before it’s too late. Maybe sprinkle a little anthrax in there. You can’t do that. I’m joking. I’m joking. Jesus, lighten up. Who said I’d do that, right? But seriously someone could do that to you, right? With your history, you’ll end up in the fuckin’ loony bin. It’s like someone making up whatever they want about me, and I end up humiliated. And it didn’t even happen. We’re in the same boat. You see that, right? Anyway, I love you. Yeah. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone in our family. I gotta go make a speech. Yikes! Wish me luck. Dad. Oh, there he is. Um, listen. Hey, everyone, thank you for Where are you hid ? Don’t hide. Come here. Thank you everyone for coming. Um, I would like to make a toast to Adelaide, my Hempstead hamster. – That’s in the bedroom, right? – Okay, stop. [LAUGHTER] But, um, I don’t know if you guys heard, she’s engaged to be my my bride. – [GASPING] – [WHISTLING] I don’t deserve her, that’s for sure. She doesn’t deserve this, but I’m gonna do it anyway. – What are you gonna do? – Dad, you’re the man. Start it up. Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you [LAUGHTER] Every single day And every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I’ll be watching you [ADELAIDE LAUGHS] Oh can’t you see? You belong to me How my poor heart aches With every step you take Every move you make [CONTINUES FAINTLY IN DISTANCE] And every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I’ll be watching you Since you’ve been gone I’ve been lost without a trace I dream at night I can only see your face I look around And it’s you I can’t replace I feel so cold And I long for your embrace I keep crying baby, baby Please – [THUD] – [CROWD GASPS] [PORTER] Owen. [ANGELICA, SCREAMING] Owen! Owen! Owen! So Sting was at this party? No, he was singing Sting. [MURAMOTO] Did you make up that story? No, I did not. [MURAMOTO] According to our readings, you were conscious, Mr. One. You did not take the pill. No, that’s that’s not possible. [EXHALES] [KEYS JINGLE] [MURAMOTO] Now, you are going to take that. – I already took it. – [MURAMOTO] Don’t lie. If you don’t take it, I’ll have security escort you from this facility, with no money, no honor, just shame. No. – [MURAMOTO] Take it now. – No. I said take it. No. [IN JAPANESE] Drink. [YELLS ANGRILY IN JAPANESE] Swallow! [DOOR OPENS] [ANNIE] Why were you in there so long? What’d he say? [MURAMOTO] Could you tell Miss Nine to come in, Mr. One? He wants you to go in there. [MURAMOTO] I don’t know how you had access to the pill, but analysis of the biodata indicates that you have been using it compulsively. I haven’t. I sympathize with you. The “A” experience, on its own, can be a seductive demon. What are you talking about? [MURAMOTO] Most people wouldn’t understand why someone wants to revisit a trauma again and again, even take pleasure from it. Most people, wouldn’t. But you do. [INHALES DEEPLY] People like that don’t want to move forward. I don’t deserve to. [MURAMOTO] Don’t you? I want to move forward. I want to know what the second pill does. People who feel they deserve loss might try to move forward. They might taste recovery but they always end up going back. Why? [INHALES DEEPLY] Be [MOROMOTO BREATHES RAGGEDLY] Dr. Muramoto? Is Is this part of ? Is this a test? [TELEPHONE RINGS] Or is that the test? You wanna see if I’ll answer it? [TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING] I can wait. I’ll wait forever. Are you actually dead? Fuck! [WHISPERS] Owen, I need your help. – What? – Just get the fuck in here! Do not let anyone come in this door. – Did you kill him? – No, I didn’t fuckin’ kill him. He just died. Sometimes people just die. He made me take a pill. What’d you see? Olivia. – We were studying. – Is that your girlfriend? [OWEN] No. It’s a girl I liked. She asked me to help her with her, uh, history finals. I, like, wanted to talk to her all semester. And I was on my way to the library, and I saw him. Grimsson. That was the first time he ever came to me. And he told me to watch out for Olivia, and I just realized she was a plant. My parents had paid her to pretend to like me. They were listening in. My brothers were listening in. They were just laughing at me. My mind kept racing. Like, someone had given her information on me. How she was getting paid for every minute she made me happy and that my parents paid her to marry me and grow old with me and have a family and seven kids. I started asking her if her name was even Olivia. And she’s like, “Are you okay?” I said, “No, I’m not okay. None of this is real. None of this is real. None of this is real. “ Sounds like you were having a day. What? That’s what my mom used to call it when she got her wires crossed. [OWEN] Doctors called it a BLIP. Brief and limited psychosis. I didn’t know that. I I just started screaming at her. I just yelled some fucked up things at her. And other people started looking at me, and I started throwing books at them and screaming at them. And I knew I was right. I was so sure I was right. Have you ever just felt unbelievably sure that you were right and everyone else was wrong? [ANNIE] All the time. I’ll do yours. Where did you end up? Strapped to a gurney in a little room by myself screaming for my mom. [EXHALES] That’s rough. Let’s go back out there and pretend nothing fucked up happened. [CARL] The food cubes being distributed during Meal Time deliver a specific amount of nutrients and calories to the body. That means that your plates at the end of Meal Time need to be happy plates. Does everyone know what a happy plate is? A happy plate is a clean plate. I can’t eat. [CARL] You have to. It’s not to make me happy, but to make science happy. [WOMAN] Tastes like the inside of my cat’s uterus. Stay out of your cat’s uterus. [MAN] Is this food? Tell me why the pill was so important to you that you lied to get in here and you tricked me. I never would have messed with you if I knew all that stuff had happened. The BLIP. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. [INHALES DEEPLY] My sister and I were in a car crash five years ago. The driver passed out behind the wheel of a semi-truck. He had been driving for 30 hours. He was high on NoDoze. His name was Greg F. U. N. Nazlund. His middle name was “fun. “ It was his fucking fault if we’re talking about fault. Every time I take that pill, I have to live through the worst day of my life, just like you did. I have to hear myself say the worst ugliest things I’ve ever said to anyone. And it ends with the worst thing that ever happened. I fucking love it. Why? Because I get to be with her. Oh, they found him. [CARL] I thought he was napping when I first came in. Poor Robert. It’s a catastrophe. [CARL] Want me to bring in a team, get him out of here? No. Leave him. I have to go up to the 77th floor. [DOOR CLOSES] [SNIFFLES] [YODA IN JAPANESE] [AZUMI IN JAPANESE] [YODA] [YODA] [YODA] [YODA] [AZUMI] It was a past life. An old life. Lies forced us apart and now we can’t remember. No I remember. We were lovers. Now we’re gonna be together forever. High Priestess of Atlantis can you feel that? My energy in your chest? I can feel it. Good. – Now, put your hands on me. – Okay. [MOANS] – That’s excellent. – [PRIESTESS MOANS] – [MAN] See what she does with a ping-pong. – [MAN 2] She shot them [WOMAN] It was cute, but I wasn’t into it, y’know? – [MAN] Why weren’t you into it? – [WOMAN] It was weird. – [MANTLERAY] Fabulous. – [MOANS] [PRIESTESS MOANS] That’s good. That’s good. – [PRIESTESS MOANS] – That’s good. Oh, that’s excellent. [AZUMI] James. – [PRIESTESS] Oh, my God. – That’s excellent. [PRIESTESS MOANS] – Oh, that’s excellent. – [AZUMI] James! [PRIESTESS MOANS] [SUCKTUBE POWERS OFF]

SO YOU BETTER GET READY
HERE COME THE PLANE
BUT PAY AS YOU GO
YOU CAN COME AS YOU ARE
MESSAGE
YOU GO
PAY AS
READY TO GO.

[AZUMI] I’m sorry to to walk in on you like this, but I still have my key. I thought we had agreed that you wouldn’t bother me while I was working. I need your help. The very fact that you braved the outside world for me tells me this is an emergency. Let me guess. You’re having trouble dampening the reality test when it drops to NREM 3. Now Dr. Muramoto has begged you to come and beg me – to come help him. – [AZUMI] He’s dead. He was freebasing an A/C mixture. Uh-huh. And who’s going to replace him? You. – Don’t fuck with me, Azumi. – [AZUMI] I’m not, James. [CLEARS THROAT] We need your help to finish. Of course I’ll need several minutes to get my affairs in order, but yes. I’ll be right outside. [RUSTLING] [SNIFFING] – – [SIGHS] When is this fucking horse gonna die? I don’t have my security card. Thank you for braving the outside world for me. Thank you for inventing this treatment. Does Gertie know I’m here? I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. [INHALES DEEPLY] Hello. It’s excellent to see you again. [GRTA] James. What a nice surprise! Are you gonna show your face? All right. Oh By the way, I thought you should hear it from me first that Dr. Muramoto is dead. [GRTA] Oh! And I’m once again at the helm of this project. [GRTA] I see. Thank you for telling me. Did Muramoto have access to a beta headset? Yes. Sometimes he used it when they were red flags. Why? I’ll address the subjects tomorrow myself. They can’t be spooked by a death. And sometimes the arrival of a new authority figure could be equally upsetting. Either is a data taint. Last thing we want is a data taint. Yeah. We need all the data we can get. Number Five he just brought rubbers, so he can stay, right? Azumi. [AZUMI] Yes. When an addict dies, do you think it’s suicide? I believe Robert was optimistic. I think he just made a mistake. I’m sorry about Robert. How are you feeling? [GRTA] I feel I have all the feels. Behavioral tomorrow. What do you think they’ll all see in themselves? [GRTA] I don’t know. Get some rest. [SIGHS] Good night, Azumi. Good night, James. [GRTA CRIES] [COMPUTERIZED ROOSTER CROWS] [COMPUTERIZED BIRDS CHIRPING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] – What’s wrong with fish sauce? – There’s nothing wrong with fish sauce. [AZUMI] Good morning. Could I have everyone’s attention for a moment? My name [CLEARS THROAT] is Dr. James K. Mantleray. Unfortunately, Dr. Muramoto has had a family emergency, so I will personally be assuming oversight duties of this iteration of the ULP. Uh, I believe in this treatment. And I believe in the idea that we can all be uh fixed. Pain uh, can be destroyed. But it can’t without trials like this, so I guess I want to thank you all for being the brave explorers that you are. Uh, great adventurers on the precipice of mankind’s last, great, hidden frontier: Mindlantis. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [COMPUTER PLAYS MELODY] [WOMAN] I’m seeing soothing from the white. Good. They’re settling in. And there’s no reason for any of them to be nervous. Exposure elements stacked and loaded? [MAN] Affirmative. [AZUMI] Safety Net confirm. [MAN] Gertie is present and caring. Okay, people, let’s illuminate some blind spots. [MANTLERAY] Azumi. I’d like to administer the behavioral pill. It’s been a while. Be my guest, Dr. Mantleray. Subjects, please ingest the pill. [COMPUTER POWERS UP] [MAN] All clear. Going to green. [WOMAN ON TV] comes down to the butter. – Everyone will tell you to bake – [LINDA] Bruce? with unsalted butter, – but I tend to disagree – [LINDA] Brucie? because using salted butter in the mix [LINDA] Bruce? You fell asleep in front of the TV again. You got to get up. [WOMAN ON TV] Okay, and Well, I know we’re all worried about our cholesterol these days, but if you truly are [“ILLEGAL SMILE” PLAYS] Hey. Hey. Is there any coffee? [LINDA] Yeah, I just made some. Big day today. [BRUCE] You say that every morning. Well, today I mean it. Toss? Keep? Keep. Ah, but fortunately [LINDA] I’m saving it. I have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don’t cost very much But it lasts a long while Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun Well done Hot dog bun My sister’s a nun   [BRUCE] All right, Dr. Greta, let’s fix this marriage. Hmm. SHE’S OFTEN TELLING YOU WHAT SHE NEEDS. YOUR JOB AS HER HUSBAND IS TO HEAR IT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES NOW SERVING Oh, that’s me. Excuse me. Excuse me. That’s me. Oh, uh, that’s okay. I’m gonna wait for her. You go ahead. How can I help you, dear? I am here to report a dangerous driver. This is form DS-7, including my anecdote. My kids play on that street. You don’t have the name and address of the driver. Well, if I had his name and his address, I’d go over to his house and I’d have dealt with him myself. You really shouldn’t do that. This is his license plate number. Can you get any stuff from that? Well, I’m not allowed to give you that information, hon, but I could file a report. – [BEEP] – [TYPING] I don’t know if you really wanna bother with this, because they take such a long time. Yeah, I’m seeing his address now, so I can submit this thing. You know what? Now that I’m here actually doin’ it, I feel like a snitch. And I ain’t one. But thanks. You’ve been helpful. How’d it go? [SIGHS] Failed the written again. I’m sorry, babe. Next time. Hey, wanna get a doughnut at Lucky’s or somethin’? No, I wanna go to 534 Ashton Place. You don’t need a map. You married Magellan. Uh-huh. Hey what baby wants, baby gets. Fudgin’ seat belt. – You okay? – Yeah, it’s stiff. You know. – Go all the way back – Yeah. – and pull it. – No, I know. 534 Ashton Place. On a need-to-know basis. Eight minutes, tops. [LINDA] Oh, in your dreams, Bruce. [BRUCE] I’m gonna put it on sport mode, Mario Andretti – [LINDA] Oh! – [BRUCE] There we are. There we are. All right, eight minutes. – We did it. – [SIGHS] – Perfect! – Okay. [BRUCE] I’m just a guy – who knows his way around. – [LINDA] Ooh, Brucie, pull there. – Here? – Park there. Okay. – [LINDA GASPS] – Here we go. Them sons of bitches. Wait. [LINDA] When we go in there, you’re gonna distract them. What? Distract who? The guys in the store, Bruce. It’s August, it’s 98 degrees. Why are we going to a fur store?  [BRAKES AND TIRES SQUEALING] – [CAR CRASHES] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [WHIMPERS] [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [BUZZER SOUNDS]   [DISQUIETING CLASSICAL MUSIC] [AZUMI] Ten seconds until reentry, people. [MAN] Here they come. [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [D’NAIL] Huh? What was that? It was fucking unethical. You waived ethics in your consent form. Talk to me. Are we liking what we’re seeing on the neuromatrices? [MAN] Clean narrative data from all but Subject One. [WOMAN] I’m not positive he was actually down. – [AZUMI] What about Nine? – [WOMAN] I don’t know what to tell you. Brain structure tells me she’s been there many times before. [MAN] She’s already got the grooves of this narrative. That was, uh overwhelming. – Wait till you take the second one. – [AZUMI] Friendly reminder, please do not discuss your experience with any other subjects. Post-phase evaluations will occur in ascending order, so please settle in and wait comfortably in the commons until your number is called. [MURAMOTO] Mr. One, please report to the post-exam test room. Thank you. Please describe your emotional state upon waking from the pill. Um Fragile. Maybe sad. [MURAMOTO] Mm-hmm. Also hungry. You need snack? Bleeding. [MURAMOTO] Emotional state. Emotions. Bleeding. Internally. You look tired. I’m exhausted. And devastated. But satisfied. I want to know more about the second pill. [MURAMOTO] Why? I just do. Um S I’m speechless. Anything else? [INHALES DEEPLY] I’m speechless. I’ll trust you too. I won’t count it. [LAUGHING] [AMELIA] For me, it was a hurricane. Horrible. It took my Herbert. You like the complicated ones, I see. – [ANNIE] I’m so sorry to hear that. – [AMELIA] It wasn’t the best of marriages. – I don’t even know her. – [ANNIE] Are any of them? – Nothing to be ashamed of. – [AMELIA] Don’t say that. These places all end up like camp. Everyone falls in love in two hours. It can get silly. – [ANNIE] You haven’t remarried? – [AMELIA] I would never. I was on a Phase I of a GI treatment in Houston, one of the rats proposed on the second day. Of course, by that time we all had the radioactive shits. You know what was odd though? What the pill made me see was not like I remember it. Was that a memory, or was it something else? [CARL] One, Five, Nine. Dr. Muramoto wants to see you in his office. – [RAYMOND] We’ve been red-flagged. – What does that mean? I do 20, 30 of these a year all over the country. It’s good money if you can work the system. When they call you in right away, that means they caught something. What do they usually do? Enhanced interrogation? Enhanced interrogation? No. They red flag you, they mark your file, they ask you a bunch of questions. They’re gonna document the case so they don’t have to pay. – Then they kick you out. – I didn’t do anything wrong. Every time, it doesn’t matter what you say. Mr. Five, come in. [MOUTHING] We’re fucked. I didn’t take the pill in case you needed to activate me. [CLEARS THROAT] Owen I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I sort of I kind of lied to get into the study, and it seemed like you might be a problem, so I just said what you needed to hear. But you knew my name. I saw you in the ads. You said there was a larger pattern. Well, I knew your name because they said it on the intercom at reception. And the ads, I sold my face to a stock service four years ago, so it’s And as far as I can tell, there is no plan or pattern to the universe. It’s just chaos. I’m sorry. Why are you here? Your turn. Yo, can I get my condoms back? – [CARL] You don’t get those condoms back. – [RAYMOND CHUCKLES] Really sorry for the confusion. There are inconsistencies with your participation in this study. Oh, okay. [MURAMOTO] And I’m gonna need you to recount what happened in your mind after taking the pill, and verify your experience of your core trauma. It’s supposed to be the worst day of your life, right? [MURAMOTO] Is that what you experienced? It was intense. Describe intense with details. Well, when I took the “A” pill the light changed [JAZZ PIANO PLAYS] and I was standing in my parents’ house. Gimlet? Oh, what’s that? It’s a gimlet. Thanks. [OWEN] It was seven months ago, my brother’s engagement party, and I had just switched to a new medication. You like her, don’t you? Yeah, Adelaide’s great. [LINDA GASPS] – Here we go. Them sons of bitches. Wait. [LINDA] When we go in there, you’re gonna distract them. What? Distract who? The guys in the store, Bruce. It’s August, it’s 98 degrees. Why are we going to a fur store?  [BRAKES AND TIRES SQUEALING] – [CAR CRASHES] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [WHIMPERS] [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [BUZZER SOUNDS]   [DISQUIETING CLASSICAL MUSIC] [AZUMI] Ten seconds until reentry, people. [MAN] Here they come. [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [D’NAIL] Huh? What was that? It was fucking unethical. You waived ethics in your consent form. Talk to me. Are we liking what we’re seeing on the neuromatrices? [MAN] Clean narrative data from all but Subject One. [WOMAN] I’m not positive he was actually down. – [AZUMI] What about Nine? – [WOMAN] I don’t know what to tell you. Brain structure tells me she’s been there many times before. [MAN] She’s already got the grooves of this narrative. That was, uh overwhelming. – Wait till you take the second one. – [AZUMI] Friendly reminder, please do not discuss your experience with any other subjects. Post-phase evaluations will occur in ascending order, so please settle in and wait comfortably in the commons until your number is called. [MURAMOTO] Mr. One, please report to the post-exam test room. Thank you. Please describe your emotional state upon waking from the pill. Um Fragile. Maybe sad. [MURAMOTO] Mm-hmm. Also hungry. You need snack? Bleeding. [MURAMOTO] Emotional state. Emotions. Bleeding. Internally. You look tired. I’m exhausted. And devastated. But satisfied. I want to know more about the second pill. [MURAMOTO] Why? I just do. Um S I’m speechless. Anything else? [INHALES DEEPLY] I’m speechless. I’ll trust you too. I won’t count it. [LAUGHING] [AMELIA] For me, it was a hurricane. Horrible. It took my Herbert. You like the complicated ones, I see. – [ANNIE] I’m so sorry to hear that. – [AMELIA] It wasn’t the best of marriages. – I don’t even know her. – [ANNIE] Are any of them? – Nothing to be ashamed of. – [AMELIA] Don’t say that. These places all end up like camp. Everyone falls in love in two hours. It can get silly. – [ANNIE] You haven’t remarried? – [AMELIA] I would never. I was on a Phase I of a GI treatment in Houston, one of the rats proposed on the second day. Of course, by that time we all had the radioactive shits. You know what was odd though? What the pill made me see was not like I remember it. Was that a memory, or was it something else? [CARL] One, Five, Nine. Dr. Muramoto wants to see you in his office. – [RAYMOND] We’ve been red-flagged. – What does that mean? I do 20, 30 of these a year all over the country. It’s good money if you can work the system. When they call you in right away, that means they caught something. What do they usually do? Enhanced interrogation? Enhanced interrogation? No. They red flag you, they mark your file, they ask you a bunch of questions. They’re gonna document the case so they don’t have to pay. – Then they kick you out. – I didn’t do anything wrong. Every time, it doesn’t matter what you say. Mr. Five, come in. [MOUTHING] We’re fucked. I didn’t take the pill in case you needed to activate me. [CLEARS THROAT] Owen I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I sort of I kind of lied to get into the study, and it seemed like you might be a problem, so I just said what you needed to hear. But you knew my name. I saw you in the ads. You said there was a larger pattern. Well, I knew your name because they said it on the intercom at reception. And the ads, I sold my face to a stock service four years ago, so it’s And as far as I can tell, there is no plan or pattern to the universe. It’s just chaos. I’m sorry. Why are you here? Your turn. Yo, can I get my condoms back? – [CARL] You don’t get those condoms back. – [RAYMOND CHUCKLES] Really sorry for the confusion. There are inconsistencies with your participation in this study. Oh, okay. [MURAMOTO] And I’m gonna need you to recount what happened in your mind after taking the pill, and verify your experience of your core trauma. It’s supposed to be the worst day of your life, right? [MURAMOTO] Is that what you experienced? It was intense. Describe intense with details. Well, when I took the “A” pill the light changed [JAZZ PIANO PLAYS] and I was standing in my parents’ house. Gimlet? Oh, what’s that? It’s a gimlet. Thanks. [OWEN] It was seven months ago, my brother’s engagement party, and I had just switched to a new medication. You like her, don’t you? Yeah, Adelaide’s great. [LINDA GASPS] – Here we go. Them sons of bitches. Wait. [LINDA] When we go in there, you’re gonna distract them. What? Distract who? The guys in the store, Bruce. It’s August, it’s 98 degrees. Why are we going to a fur store?  [BRAKES AND TIRES SQUEALING] – [CAR CRASHES] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [WHIMPERS] [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [BUZZER SOUNDS]   [DISQUIETING CLASSICAL MUSIC] [AZUMI] Ten seconds until reentry, people. [MAN] Here they come. [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [D’NAIL] Huh? What was that? It was fucking unethical. You waived ethics in your consent form. Talk to me. Are we liking what we’re seeing on the neuromatrices? [MAN] Clean narrative data from all but Subject One. [WOMAN] I’m not positive he was actually down. – [AZUMI] What about Nine? – [WOMAN] I don’t know what to tell you. Brain structure tells me she’s been there many times before. [MAN] She’s already got the grooves of this narrative. That was, uh overwhelming. – Wait till you take the second one. – [AZUMI] Friendly reminder, please do not discuss your experience with any other subjects. Post-phase evaluations will occur in ascending order, so please settle in and wait comfortably in the commons until your number is called. [MURAMOTO] Mr. One, please report to the post-exam test room. Thank you. Please describe your emotional state upon waking from the pill. Um Fragile. Maybe sad. [MURAMOTO] Mm-hmm. Also hungry. You need snack? Bleeding. [MURAMOTO] Emotional state. Emotions. Bleeding. Internally. You look tired. I’m exhausted. And devastated. But satisfied. I want to know more about the second pill. [MURAMOTO] Why? I just do. Um S I’m speechless. Anything else? [INHALES DEEPLY] I’m speechless. I’ll trust you too. I won’t count it. [LAUGHING] [AMELIA] For me, it was a hurricane. Horrible. It took my Herbert. You like the complicated ones, I see. – [ANNIE] I’m so sorry to hear that. – [AMELIA] It wasn’t the best of marriages. – I don’t even know her. – [ANNIE] Are any of them? – Nothing to be ashamed of. – [AMELIA] Don’t say that. These places all end up like camp. Everyone falls in love in two hours. It can get silly. – [ANNIE] You haven’t remarried? – [AMELIA] I would never. I was on a Phase I of a GI treatment in Houston, one of the rats proposed on the second day. Of course, by that time we all had the radioactive shits. You know what was odd though? What the pill made me see was not like I remember it. Was that a memory, or was it something else? [CARL] One, Five, Nine. Dr. Muramoto wants to see you in his office. – [RAYMOND] We’ve been red-flagged. – What does that mean? I do 20, 30 of these a year all over the country. It’s good money if you can work the system. When they call you in right away, that means they caught something. What do they usually do? Enhanced interrogation? Enhanced interrogation? No. They red flag you, they mark your file, they ask you a bunch of questions. They’re gonna document the case so they don’t have to pay. – Then they kick you out. – I didn’t do anything wrong. Every time, it doesn’t matter what you say. Mr. Five, come in. [MOUTHING] We’re fucked. I didn’t take the pill in case you needed to activate me. [CLEARS THROAT] Owen I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I sort of I kind of lied to get into the study, and it seemed like you might be a problem, so I just said what you needed to hear. But you knew my name. I saw you in the ads. You said there was a larger pattern. Well, I knew your name because they said it on the intercom at reception. And the ads, I sold my face to a stock service four years ago, so it’s And as far as I can tell, there is no plan or pattern to the universe. It’s just chaos. I’m sorry. Why are you here? Your turn. Yo, can I get my condoms back? – [CARL] You don’t get those condoms back. – [RAYMOND CHUCKLES] Really sorry for the confusion. There are inconsistencies with your participation in this study. Oh, okay. [MURAMOTO] And I’m gonna need you to recount what happened in your mind after taking the pill, and verify your experience of your core trauma. It’s supposed to be the worst day of your life, right? [MURAMOTO] Is that what you experienced? It was intense. Describe intense with details. Well, when I took the “A” pill the light changed [JAZZ PIANO PLAYS] and I was standing in my parents’ house. Gimlet? Oh, what’s that? It’s a gimlet. Thanks. [OWEN] It was seven months ago, my brother’s engagement party, and I had just switched to a new medication. You like her, don’t you? Yeah, Adelaide’s great. [JED] I mean, you really like her. What do you want, Jed? Listen, I I wanted to I wanted to ask you directly, you know, because sometimes You’re gonna help me out, right? So long as you didn’t do it. I did I didn’t do it. God [MAN] Nice to meet you. It really doesn’t matter what happened, right? You of all people would understand that. Of course it matters. It’s the only thing that matters. – Oh, what’s real matters? – Yes. Okay. Hilarious. Hilarious, but okay. [EXHALES] Can I ask you something? Can you imagine what Mom and Dad would do if they found out you had another incident? Maybe write threatening letters to very powerful people. The mayor, the head of the FBI, Secret Service. Tell them how you see a pattern in the universe, and how you have to take ‘em down before it’s too late. Maybe sprinkle a little anthrax in there. You can’t do that. I’m joking. I’m joking. Jesus, lighten up. Who said I’d do that, right? But seriously someone could do that to you, right? With your history, you’ll end up in the fuckin’ loony bin. It’s like someone making up whatever they want about me, and I end up humiliated. And it didn’t even happen. We’re in the same boat. You see that, right? Anyway, I love you. Yeah. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone in our family. I gotta go make a speech. Yikes! Wish me luck. Dad. Oh, there he is. Um, listen. Hey, everyone, thank you for Where are you hid ? Don’t hide. Come here. Thank you everyone for coming. Um, I would like to make a toast to Adelaide, my Hempstead hamster. – That’s in the bedroom, right? – Okay, stop. [LAUGHTER] But, um, I don’t know if you guys heard, she’s engaged to be my my bride.

[AZUMI] I’m sorry to to walk in on you like this, but I still have my key. I thought we had agreed that you wouldn’t bother me while I was working. I need your help. The very fact that you braved the outside world for me tells me this is an emergency. Let me guess. You’re having trouble dampening the reality test when it drops to NREM 3. Now Dr. Muramoto has begged you to come and beg me – to come help him. – [AZUMI] He’s dead. He was freebasing an A/C mixture. Uh-huh. And who’s going to replace him? You. – Don’t fuck with me, Azumi. – [AZUMI] I’m not, James. [CLEARS THROAT] We need your help to finish. Of course I’ll need several minutes to get my affairs in order, but yes. I’ll be right outside. [RUSTLING] [SNIFFING] – – [SIGHS] When is this fucking horse gonna die? I don’t have my security card. Thank you for braving the outside world for me. Thank you for inventing this treatment. Does Gertie know I’m here? I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. [INHALES DEEPLY] Hello. It’s excellent to see you again. [GRTA] James. What a nice surprise! Are you gonna show your face? All right. Oh By the way, I thought you should hear it from me first that Dr. Muramoto is dead. [GRTA] Oh! And I’m once again at the helm of this project. [GRTA] I see. Thank you for telling me. Did Muramoto have access to a beta headset? Yes. Sometimes he used it when they were red flags. Why? I’ll address the subjects tomorrow myself. They can’t be spooked by a death. And sometimes the arrival of a new authority figure could be equally upsetting. Either is a data taint. Last thing we want is a data taint. Yeah. We need all the data we can get. Number Five he just brought rubbers, so he can stay, right? Azumi. [AZUMI] Yes. When an addict dies, do you think it’s suicide? I believe Robert was optimistic. I think he just made a mistake. I’m sorry about Robert. How are you feeling? [GRTA] I feel I have all the feels. Behavioral tomorrow. What do you think they’ll all see in themselves? [GRTA] I don’t know. Get some rest. [SIGHS] Good night, Azumi. Good night, James. [GRTA CRIES] [COMPUTERIZED ROOSTER CROWS] [COMPUTERIZED BIRDS CHIRPING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] – What’s wrong with fish sauce? – There’s nothing wrong with fish sauce. [AZUMI] Good morning. Could I have everyone’s attention for a moment? My name [CLEARS THROAT] is Dr. James K. Mantleray. Unfortunately, Dr. Muramoto has had a family emergency, so I will personally be assuming oversight duties of this iteration of the ULP. Uh, I believe in this treatment. And I believe in the idea that we can all be uh fixed. Pain uh, can be destroyed. But it can’t without trials like this, so I guess I want to thank you all for being the brave explorers that you are. Uh, great adventurers on the precipice of mankind’s last, great, hidden frontier: Mindlantis. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [COMPUTER PLAYS MELODY] [WOMAN] I’m seeing soothing from the white. Good. They’re settling in. And there’s no reason for any of them to be nervous. Exposure elements stacked and loaded? [MAN] Affirmative. [AZUMI] Safety Net confirm. [MAN] Gertie is present and caring. Okay, people, let’s illuminate some blind spots. [MANTLERAY] Azumi. I’d like to administer the behavioral pill. It’s been a while. Be my guest, Dr. Mantleray. Subjects, please ingest the pill. [COMPUTER POWERS UP] [MAN] All clear. Going to green. [WOMAN ON TV] comes down to the butter. – Everyone will tell you to bake – [LINDA] Bruce? with unsalted butter, – but I tend to disagree – [LINDA] Brucie? because using salted butter in the mix [LINDA] Bruce? You fell asleep in front of the TV again. You got to get up. [WOMAN ON TV] Okay, and Well, I know we’re all worried about our cholesterol these days, but if you truly are [“ILLEGAL SMILE” PLAYS] Hey. Hey. Is there any coffee? [LINDA] Yeah, I just made some. Big day today. [BRUCE] You say that every morning. Well, today I mean it. Toss? Keep? Keep. Ah, but fortunately [LINDA] I’m saving it. I have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don’t cost very much But it lasts a long while Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun Well done Hot dog bun My sister’s a nun   [BRUCE] All right, Dr. Greta, let’s fix this marriage. Hmm. SHE’S OFTEN TELLING YOU WHAT SHE NEEDS. YOUR JOB AS HER HUSBAND IS TO HEAR IT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES NOW SERVING Oh, that’s me. Excuse me. Excuse me. That’s me. Oh, uh, that’s okay. I’m gonna wait for her. You go ahead. How can I help you, dear? I am here to report a dangerous driver. This is form DS-7, including my anecdote. My kids play on that street. You don’t have the name and address of the driver. Well, if I had his name and his address, I’d go over to his house and I’d have dealt with him myself. You really shouldn’t do that. This is his license plate number. Can you get any stuff from that? Well, I’m not allowed to give you that information, hon, but I could file a report. – [BEEP] – [TYPING] I don’t know if you really wanna bother with this, because they take such a long time. Yeah, I’m seeing his address now, so I can submit this thing. You know what? Now that I’m here actually doin’ it, I feel like a snitch. And I ain’t one. But thanks. You’ve been helpful. How’d it go? [SIGHS] Failed the written again. I’m sorry, babe. Next time. Hey, wanna get a doughnut at Lucky’s or somethin’? No, I wanna go to 534 Ashton Place. You don’t need a map. You married Magellan. Uh-huh. Hey what baby wants, baby gets. Fudgin’ seat belt. – You okay? – Yeah, it’s stiff. You know. – Go all the way back – Yeah. – and pull it. – No, I know. 534 Ashton Place. On a need-to-know basis. Eight minutes, tops. [LINDA] Oh, in your dreams, Bruce. [BRUCE] I’m gonna put it on sport mode, Mario Andretti – [LINDA] Oh! – [BRUCE] There we are. There we are. All right, eight minutes. – We did it. – [SIGHS] – Perfect! – Okay. [BRUCE] I’m just a guy – who knows his way around. – [LINDA] Ooh, Brucie, pull there. – Here? – Park there. Okay. – [LINDA GASPS] – Here we go. Them sons of bitches. Wait. [LINDA] When we go in there, you’re gonna distract them. What? Distract who? The guys in the store, Bruce. It’s August, it’s 98 degrees. Why are we going to a fur store?  [BRAKES AND TIRES SQUEALING] – [CAR CRASHES] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [WHIMPERS] [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [BUZZER SOUNDS]   [DISQUIETING CLASSICAL MUSIC] [AZUMI] Ten seconds until reentry, people. [MAN] Here they come. [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [D’NAIL] Huh? What was that? It was fucking unethical. You waived ethics in your consent form. Talk to me. Are we liking what we’re seeing on the neuromatrices? [MAN] Clean narrative data from all but Subject One. [WOMAN] I’m not positive he was actually down. – [AZUMI] What about Nine? – [WOMAN] I don’t know what to tell you. Brain structure tells me she’s been there many times before. [MAN] She’s already got the grooves of this narrative. That was, uh overwhelming. – Wait till you take the second one. – [AZUMI] Friendly reminder, please do not discuss your experience with any other subjects. Post-phase evaluations will occur in ascending order, so please settle in and wait comfortably in the commons until your number is called. [MURAMOTO] Mr. One, please report to the post-exam test room. Thank you. Please describe your emotional state upon waking from the pill. Um Fragile. Maybe sad. [MURAMOTO] Mm-hmm. Also hungry. You need snack? Bleeding. [MURAMOTO] Emotional state. Emotions. Bleeding. Internally. You look tired. I’m exhausted. And devastated. But satisfied. I want to know more about the second pill. [MURAMOTO] Why? I just do. Um S I’m speechless. Anything else? [INHALES DEEPLY] I’m speechless. I’ll trust you too. I won’t count it. [LAUGHING] [AMELIA] For me, it was a hurricane. Horrible. It took my Herbert. You like the complicated ones, I see. – [ANNIE] I’m so sorry to hear that. – [AMELIA] It wasn’t the best of marriages. – I don’t even know her. – [ANNIE] Are any of them? – Nothing to be ashamed of. – [AMELIA] Don’t say that. These places all end up like camp. Everyone falls in love in two hours. It can get silly. – [ANNIE] You haven’t remarried? – [AMELIA] I would never. I was on a Phase I of a GI treatment in Houston, one of the rats proposed on the second day. Of course, by that time we all had the radioactive shits. You know what was odd though? What the pill made me see was not like I remember it. Was that a memory, or was it something else? [CARL] One, Five, Nine. Dr. Muramoto wants to see you in his office. – [RAYMOND] We’ve been red-flagged. – What does that mean? I do 20, 30 of these a year all over the country. It’s good money if you can work the system. When they call you in right away, that means they caught something. What do they usually do? Enhanced interrogation? Enhanced interrogation? No. They red flag you, they mark your file, they ask you a bunch of questions. They’re gonna document the case so they don’t have to pay. – Then they kick you out. – I didn’t do anything wrong. Every time, it doesn’t matter what you say. Mr. Five, come in. [MOUTHING] We’re fucked. I didn’t take the pill in case you needed to activate me. [CLEARS THROAT] Owen I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I sort of I kind of lied to get into the study, and it seemed like you might be a problem, so I just said what you needed to hear. But you knew my name. I saw you in the ads. You said there was a larger pattern. Well, I knew your name because they said it on the intercom at reception. And the ads, I sold my face to a stock service four years ago, so it’s And as far as I can tell, there is no plan or pattern to the universe. It’s just chaos. I’m sorry. Why are you here? Your turn. Yo, can I get my condoms back? – [CARL] You don’t get those condoms back. – [RAYMOND CHUCKLES] Really sorry for the confusion. There are inconsistencies with your participation in this study. Oh, okay. [MURAMOTO] And I’m gonna need you to recount what happened in your mind after taking the pill, and verify your experience of your core trauma. It’s supposed to be the worst day of your life, right? [MURAMOTO] Is that what you experienced? It was intense. Describe intense with details. Well, when I took the “A” pill the light changed [JAZZ PIANO PLAYS] and I was standing in my parents’ house. Gimlet? Oh, what’s that? It’s a gimlet. Thanks. [OWEN] It was seven months ago, my brother’s engagement party, and I had just switched to a new medication. You like her, don’t you? Yeah, Adelaide’s great. [JED] I mean, you really like her. What do you want, Jed? Listen, I I wanted to I wanted to ask you directly, you know, because sometimes You’re gonna help me out, right? So long as you didn’t do it. I did I didn’t do it. God [MAN] Nice to meet you. It really doesn’t matter what happened, right? You of all people would understand that. Of course it matters. It’s the only thing that matters. – Oh, what’s real matters? – Yes. Okay. Hilarious. Hilarious, but okay. [EXHALES] Can I ask you something? Can you imagine what Mom and Dad would do if they found out you had another incident? Maybe write threatening letters to very powerful people. The mayor, the head of the FBI, Secret Service. Tell them how you see a pattern in the universe, and how you have to take ‘em down before it’s too late. Maybe sprinkle a little anthrax in there. You can’t do that. I’m joking. I’m joking. Jesus, lighten up. Who said I’d do that, right? But seriously someone could do that to you, right? With your history, you’ll end up in the fuckin’ loony bin. It’s like someone making up whatever they want about me, and I end up humiliated. And it didn’t even happen. We’re in the same boat. You see that, right? Anyway, I love you. Yeah. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone in our family. I gotta go make a speech. Yikes! Wish me luck. Dad. Oh, there he is. Um, listen. Hey, everyone, thank you for Where are you hid ? Don’t hide. Come here. Thank you everyone for coming. Um, I would like to make a toast to Adelaide, my Hempstead hamster. – That’s in the bedroom, right? – Okay, stop. [LAUGHTER] But, um, I don’t know if you guys heard, she’s engaged to be my my bride. [GASPING] – [WHISTLING] I don’t deserve her, that’s for sure. She doesn’t deserve this, but I’m gonna do it anyway. – What are you gonna do? – Dad, you’re the man. Start it up. Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you [LAUGHTER] Every single day And every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I’ll be watching you [ADELAIDE LAUGHS] Oh can’t you see? You belong to me How my poor heart aches With every step you take Every move you make [CONTINUES FAINTLY IN DISTANCE] And every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I’ll be watching you Since you’ve been gone I’ve been lost without a trace I dream at night I can only see your face I look around And it’s you I can’t replace I feel so cold And I long for your embrace I keep crying baby, baby Please – [THUD] – [CROWD GASPS] [PORTER] Owen. [ANGELICA, SCREAMING] Owen! Owen! Owen! So Sting was at this party? No, he was singing Sting. [MURAMOTO] Did you make up that story? No, I did not. [MURAMOTO] According to our readings, you were conscious, Mr. One. You did not take the pill. No, that’s that’s not possible. [EXHALES] [KEYS JINGLE] [MURAMOTO] Now, you are going to take that. – I already took it. – [MURAMOTO] Don’t lie. If you don’t take it, I’ll have security escort you from this facility, with no money, no honor, just shame. No. – [MURAMOTO] Take it now. – No. I said take it. No. [IN JAPANESE] Drink. [YELLS ANGRILY IN JAPANESE] Swallow! [DOOR OPENS] [ANNIE] Why were you in there so long? What’d he say? [MURAMOTO] Could you tell Miss Nine to come in, Mr. One? He wants you to go in there. [MURAMOTO] I don’t know how you had access to the pill, but analysis of the biodata indicates that you have been using it compulsively. I haven’t. I sympathize with you. The “A” experience, on its own, can be a seductive demon. What are you talking about? [MURAMOTO] Most people wouldn’t understand why someone wants to revisit a trauma again and again, even take pleasure from it. Most people, wouldn’t. But you do. [INHALES DEEPLY] People like that don’t want to move forward. I don’t deserve to. [MURAMOTO] Don’t you? I want to move forward. I want to know what the second pill does. People who feel they deserve loss might try to move forward. They might taste recovery but they always end up going back. Why? [INHALES DEEPLY] Be [MOROMOTO BREATHES RAGGEDLY] Dr. Muramoto? Is Is this part of ? Is this a test? [TELEPHONE RINGS] Or is that the test? You wanna see if I’ll answer it? [TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING] I can wait. I’ll wait forever. Are you actually dead? Fuck! [WHISPERS] Owen, I need your help. – What? – Just get the fuck in here! Do not let anyone come in this door. – Did you kill him? – No, I didn’t fuckin’ kill him. He just died. Sometimes people just die. He made me take a pill. What’d you see? Olivia. – We were studying. – Is that your girlfriend? [OWEN] No. It’s a girl I liked. She asked me to help her with her, uh, history finals. I, like, wanted to talk to her all semester. And I was on my way to the library, and I saw him. Grimsson. That was the first time he ever came to me. And he told me to watch out for Olivia, and I just realized she was a plant. My parents had paid her to pretend to like me. They were listening in. My brothers were listening in. They were just laughing at me. My mind kept racing. Like, someone had given her information on me. How she was getting paid for every minute she made me happy and that my parents paid her to marry me and grow old with me and have a family and seven kids. I started asking her if her name was even Olivia. And she’s like, “Are you okay?” I said, “No, I’m not okay. None of this is real. None of this is real. None of this is real. “ Sounds like you were having a day. What? That’s what my mom used to call it when she got her wires crossed. [OWEN] Doctors called it a BLIP. Brief and limited psychosis. I didn’t know that. I I just started screaming at her. I just yelled some fucked up things at her. And other people started looking at me, and I started throwing books at them and screaming at them. And I knew I was right. I was so sure I was right. Have you ever just felt unbelievably sure that you were right and everyone else was wrong? [ANNIE] All the time. I’ll do yours. Where did you end up? Strapped to a gurney in a little room by myself screaming for my mom. [EXHALES] That’s rough. Let’s go back out there and pretend nothing fucked up happened. [CARL] The food cubes being distributed during Meal Time deliver a specific amount of nutrients and calories to the body. That means that your plates at the end of Meal Time need to be happy plates. Does everyone know what a happy plate is? A happy plate is a clean plate. I can’t eat. [CARL] You have to. It’s not to make me happy, but to make science happy. [WOMAN] Tastes like the inside of my cat’s uterus. Stay out of your cat’s uterus. [MAN] Is this food? Tell me why the pill was so important to you that you lied to get in here and you tricked me. I never would have messed with you if I knew all that stuff had happened. The BLIP. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. [INHALES DEEPLY] My sister and I were in a car crash five years ago. The driver passed out behind the wheel of a semi-truck. He had been driving for 30 hours. He was high on NoDoze. His name was Greg F. U. N. Nazlund. His middle name was “fun. “ It was his fucking fault if we’re talking about fault. Every time I take that pill, I have to live through the worst day of my life, just like you did. I have to hear myself say the worst ugliest things I’ve ever said to anyone. And it ends with the worst thing that ever happened. I fucking love it. Why? Because I get to be with her. Oh, they found him. [CARL] I thought he was napping when I first came in. Poor Robert. It’s a catastrophe. [CARL] Want me to bring in a team, get him out of here? No. Leave him. I have to go up to the 77th floor. [DOOR CLOSES] [SNIFFLES] [YODA IN JAPANESE] [AZUMI IN JAPANESE] [YODA] [YODA] [YODA] [YODA] [AZUMI] It was a past life. An old life. Lies forced us apart and now we can’t remember. No I remember. We were lovers. Now we’re gonna be together forever. High Priestess of Atlantis can you feel that? My energy in your chest? I can feel it. Good. – Now, put your hands on me. – Okay. [MOANS] – That’s excellent. – [PRIESTESS MOANS] – [MAN] See what she does with a ping-pong. – [MAN 2] She shot them [WOMAN] It was cute, but I wasn’t into it, y’know? – [MAN] Why weren’t you into it? – [WOMAN] It was weird. – [MANTLERAY] Fabulous. – [MOANS] [PRIESTESS MOANS] That’s good. That’s good. – [PRIESTESS MOANS] – That’s good. Oh, that’s excellent. [AZUMI] James. – [PRIESTESS] Oh, my God. – That’s excellent. [PRIESTESS MOANS] – Oh, that’s excellent. – [AZUMI] James! [PRIESTESS MOANS] [SUCKTUBE POWERS OFF] [AZUMI] I’m sorry to to walk in on you like this, but I still have my key. I thought we had agreed that you wouldn’t bother me while I was working. I need your help. The very fact that you braved the outside world for me tells me this is an emergency. Let me guess. You’re having trouble dampening the reality test when it drops to NREM 3. Now Dr. Muramoto has begged you to come and beg me – to come help him. – [AZUMI] He’s dead. He was freebasing an A/C mixture. Uh-huh. And who’s going to replace him? You. – Don’t fuck with me, Azumi. – [AZUMI] I’m not, James. [CLEARS THROAT] We need your help to finish. Of course I’ll need several minutes to get my affairs in order, but yes. I’ll be right outside. [RUSTLING] [SNIFFING] – – [SIGHS] When is this fucking horse gonna die? I don’t have my security card. Thank you for braving the outside world for me. Thank you for inventing this treatment. Does Gertie know I’m here? I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. [INHALES DEEPLY] Hello. It’s excellent to see you again. [GRTA] James. What a nice surprise! Are you gonna show your face? All right. Oh By the way, I thought you should hear it from me first that Dr. Muramoto is dead. [GRTA] Oh! And I’m once again at the helm of this project. [GRTA] I see. Thank you for telling me. Did Muramoto have access to a beta headset? Yes. Sometimes he used it when they were red flags. Why? I’ll address the subjects tomorrow myself. They can’t be spooked by a death. And sometimes the arrival of a new authority figure could be equally upsetting. Either is a data taint. Last thing we want is a data taint. Yeah. We need all the data we can get. Number Five he just brought rubbers, so he can stay, right? Azumi. [AZUMI] Yes. When an addict dies, do you think it’s suicide? I believe Robert was optimistic. I think he just made a mistake. I’m sorry about Robert. How are you feeling? [GRTA] I feel I have all the feels. Behavioral tomorrow. What do you think they’ll all see in themselves? [GRTA] I don’t know. Get some rest. [SIGHS] Good night, Azumi. Good night, James. [GRTA CRIES] [COMPUTERIZED ROOSTER CROWS] [COMPUTERIZED BIRDS CHIRPING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] – What’s wrong with fish sauce? – There’s nothing wrong with fish sauce. [AZUMI] Good morning. Could I have everyone’s attention for a moment? My name [CLEARS THROAT] is Dr. James K. Mantleray. Unfortunately, Dr. Muramoto has had a family emergency, so I will personally be assuming oversight duties of this iteration of the ULP. Uh, I believe in this treatment. And I believe in the idea that we can all be uh fixed. Pain uh, can be destroyed. But it can’t without trials like this, so I guess I want to thank you all for being the brave explorers that you are. Uh, great adventurers on the precipice of mankind’s last, great, hidden frontier: Mindlantis. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [COMPUTER PLAYS MELODY] [WOMAN] I’m seeing soothing from the white. Good. They’re settling in. And there’s no reason for any of them to be nervous. Exposure elements stacked and loaded? [MAN] Affirmative. [AZUMI] Safety Net confirm. [MAN] Gertie is present and caring. Okay, people, let’s illuminate some blind spots. [MANTLERAY] Azumi. I’d like to administer the behavioral pill. It’s been a while. Be my guest, Dr. Mantleray. Subjects, please ingest the pill. [COMPUTER POWERS UP] [MAN] All clear. Going to green. [WOMAN ON TV] comes down to the butter. – Everyone will tell you to bake – [LINDA] Bruce? with unsalted butter, – but I tend to disagree – [LINDA] Brucie? because using salted butter in the mix [LINDA] Bruce? You fell asleep in front of the TV again. You got to get up. [WOMAN ON TV] Okay, and Well, I know we’re all worried about our cholesterol these days, but if you truly are [“ILLEGAL SMILE” PLAYS] Hey. Hey. Is there any coffee? [LINDA] Yeah, I just made some. Big day today. [BRUCE] You say that every morning. Well, today I mean it. Toss? Keep? Keep. Ah, but fortunately [LINDA] I’m saving it. I have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don’t cost very much But it lasts a long while Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun Well done Hot dog bun My sister’s a nun   [BRUCE] All right, Dr. Greta, let’s fix this marriage. Hmm. SHE’S OFTEN TELLING YOU WHAT SHE NEEDS. YOUR JOB AS HER HUSBAND IS TO HEAR IT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES NOW SERVING Oh, that’s me. Excuse me. Excuse me. That’s me. Oh, uh, that’s okay. I’m gonna wait for her. You go ahead. How can I help you, dear? I am here to report a dangerous driver. This is form DS-7, including my anecdote. My kids play on that street. You don’t have the name and address of the driver. Well, if I had his name and his address, I’d go over to his house and I’d have dealt with him myself. You really shouldn’t do that. This is his license plate number. Can you get any stuff from that? Well, I’m not allowed to give you that information, hon, but I could file a report. – [BEEP] – [TYPING] I don’t know if you really wanna bother with this, because they take such a long time. Yeah, I’m seeing his address now, so I can submit this thing. You know what? Now that I’m here actually doin’ it, I feel like a snitch. And I ain’t one. But thanks. You’ve been helpful. How’d it go? [SIGHS] Failed the written again. I’m sorry, babe. Next time. Hey, wanna get a doughnut at Lucky’s or somethin’? No, I wanna go to 534 Ashton Place. You don’t need a map. You married Magellan. Uh-huh. Hey what baby wants, baby gets. Fudgin’ seat belt. – You okay? – Yeah, it’s stiff. You know. – Go all the way back – Yeah. – and pull it. – No, I know. 534 Ashton Place. On a need-to-know basis. Eight minutes, tops. [LINDA] Oh, in your dreams, Bruce. [BRUCE] I’m gonna put it on sport mode, Mario Andretti – [LINDA] Oh! – [BRUCE] There we are. There we are. All right, eight minutes. – We did it. – [SIGHS] – Perfect! – Okay. [BRUCE] I’m just a guy – who knows his way around. – [LINDA] Ooh, Brucie, pull there. – Here? – Park there. Okay. – [LINDA GASPS] – Here we go. Them sons of bitches. Wait. [LINDA] When we go in there, you’re gonna distract them. What? Distract who? The guys in the store, Bruce. It’s August, it’s 98 degrees. Why are we going to a fur store? Just Go on. Here, go ahead. Go. [LINDA] It’s a different guy. It’s not them. He’s a salesperson. [MAN] Welcome to Furs by Sebastian. I’m him. How can I help you today? Uh I’m I’m looking for something to wear uh, to the opera. Is your bathroom in the back? Oh, right here, hon. – Okay, I’m just gonna – Uh – Where Where are uh – You’re just in time. Our summer sale is just ending. Take a look over here. See what speaks to you. I think you’d look really stunning in a mink. You don’t choose a fur. It chooses you. Take a look. [MAN] Hold on, Lance. I’m sendin’ a fax. [BEEPING] [DOOR OPENS] PRIVATE Wendy! Hey, girl. We’re gonna get you out of here. – Oh, good girl. Come on. – [SQUEAKING] – [BEEPING] – [DOOR OPENS] [SIGHS] Sam Beckett. [CLICKING TONGUE] What a babe. [TOILET FLUSHES] Oh, my God. [MAN COUGHS] That’s one way to lose five pounds. [FIRST MAN] Oof. Shut the door. – Oh, it fuckin’ stinks, Lance. – [DOOR SLAMS] Light a match. What kind of car you drivin’ out there? It’s, uh It’s a it’s a Volvo, but at, uh, home I got a Corvette. Very nice. Very diverse. It’s a goof, it’s fun. I don’t know. And, Lance you can’t put the code for the door on the door. You see that? That’s 20 fuckin’ grand. It’s got 31 transverse rings on its tail. Do you know how fuckin’ rare that is? [LANCE] It’s not a hat yet. – When’s Dad guttin’ that thing? – [LANCE] Tomorrow. We have rehearsal. It’s the only time Joey and Matt are free. Can’t they learn the routine separately? You fuckin’ kidding me? – This shit has to be coordinated. – [SQUEAKS] Do you hear that? [LANCE] It’s the sound it makes when it’s hungry. – I thought – Shut up, I’m right. – Just give it a V8. – [LANCE] What? [FIRST MAN] Seriously. It’s an old trick. [WENDY SQUEAKING] No, the fridge. – [OPENS CAN] – No, pour it in a glass. Do you want it to cut its little tongue? Lemurs have very delicate inner systems. And then just bring it over to me because I made that up, shithead. [SPLASH] [LANCE] Bottoms up, funny guy. Fucking foreskin. Oh, that is good. Now, let’s try this, okay? Five, six, seven, eight. Baby Give me just a little taste Of your love Crisp. Let’s see what you got, Lance. Get your head in the game. Finding your hips. Okay? Go! One, two, three. Hair. Kick, pull, change. Down. Up. I got a feeling about you. You might be the kind of guy who might be interested in bulletproof furs. Is that something that sparks your imagination? Uh I don’t know. [SEBASTIAN] Comes in very handy. – [LINDA] Honey, we have to go now. – Oh, yeah. Uh Thank you. We’ll think about it, really. The sale’s ending today. Maybe your wife will let you come back later? – [BRUCE] Hah. – Oh. You look better in leather. [LAUGHS] – Now, honey. – All right. Well, hey – thank you. – Thank you. We’re open till eight. – Come on. – I I’m gonna think about it. Sorry. I gotta tell you, I really liked the way I felt in that. [SIGHS] All right, Sheila, we struck out again. Back we go. [SIGHS] You need to spill it, babe. Spill what? What the hell is goin’ on? [SIGHS] They have Wendy. Who the fudge is Wendy? Nan’s lemur. Who the fudge is Nan? She Remember? The woman that I was taking care of at work. With stomach cancer. Who died yesterday morning. Hold on, rewind more. I told you that Nan and I had a special connection, right? So yesterday, on her deathbed, Nan tells the doctor to get out, and she asks me to take her lemur and deliver it to her daughter. – Wasn’t her daughter there? – No, they’re estranged, Bruce. And Nan, that lemur just meant so much to her, and she wanted to give it to her daughter as a gesture of reconciliation. So you agreed to deliver a lemur – from a dying woman – Mm-hm. – to her estranged daughter? – Yes. So these two guys come into the hospice two days ago, and they asked Nan to buy the lemur. So Nan tells them to scram, and then yesterday, Nan passes, God rest her soul, so I take Wendy, and I get ready to go find the daughter, but then, you know, my bladder. And so I go in to pee at Bagel Boss for two minutes. Next thing I know, this fuckin’ van is screeching away, with Wendy. And thank God I got the license plate number. – That is fudging disrespectful. – It is. – While you’re peeing in Bagel Boss. – I know. And now, tomorrow morning, they’re gonna turn Wendy into a hat. [BRUCE] Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Because I fucked it up. Like I always do. – You didn’t fudge it up. – Oh. You found it, just now. And let’s call the cops and clear this whole thing No. Bruce, I can’t call the cops. This is an illegal lemur. If they take her, they’re gonna ship her back to Madagascar. Plus, Nan told me that it had to be me. Only me. She was very specific on that point. I just Ugh. We gotta break into that store. Tonight. Really? You’re gonna help me? – Of course I’ll help you. – Aww! You don’t think I’m bonkers? That’s why I married you, babe. You’re a force of nature. [SNEEZES] Bless you. There was a chinchilla in there. Do I have anything in there? A big beautiful brain, that’s all I see up there. [CHUCKLES] [GIRL] What did the Buddha say when he walked up – to the hot dog vendor? – [BRUCE] What? Make me one with everything. [LINDA] Okay. Good night. Be good. – Aw, I thought we were eatin’ together. – [LINDA] Oh, I’m late. And I hate asparagus. Me too. I just want to break it! – All right. – See, Lin, what I said about the modeling? Lights out at eight, please. – No! – [LINDA] You’re very cooperative. Thank you for being so cooperative. See you later. Yeah. I’ll pick you up. And Vicky’s good to watch the kids. Okay, good. – Don’t forget my gym bag. – Of course. Love you, babe. – Hi, Mrs. M. – Hi, Vick. Thank you so much. Bye. – [BRUCE] Hi, Vicky. – Hi. – [GIRL] Hey, Dad? – Yeah. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? [BRUCE] No. Great food, no atmosphere. [LINDA] “ and they would lure him back. – When they did “ – That’s a good one. “ they would find out once and for all if his exceptional madness could be cured. “ It’s a good one today, huh? I like it. I know it’s hard losin’ a roommate, and Nan was quite a lady. It’s gonna take a while to feel normal again. Actually, I haven’t felt this good in years. Whenever I see Nan’s empty bed, I am just elated. – Elated? – Oh, I’m not happy she’s dead. I’m just happy it was her and not me. Good night, Harriet. Good night. – You’ve got to fix the – How we doin’ today, Mr. Ludlow? – Good. – You feelin’ good? Nick takin’ care of you? – Have you gotten a chance – Oh, Linda. This gentleman wants to talk to you. Agent Lopez, New York Fish and Wildlife. Mm. Do you have a second? Yes, of course I can. – Sure, yeah. – Visiting hours in the afternoon Uh, Linda – Marino. – Marino. Yeah. Are you a cop? Sort of. I mean, there’s not much of a difference, authority-wise. Okay. You, uh, took care of a patient recently, Nancy Walton. Nan, yeah. Uh, Nan, exactly. You spend a lot of time with Nan? – She was my patient, so – Mm-hm. You know she had a ring-tailed lemur, went by the name of Wendy. Yeah, she kept it in a cage under her bed. Where’s that lemur now? [WOMAN OVER PA] Carol to the nursing station. I don’t know. I mean, I have no idea, actually. To be frank, ma’am, there’s a zesty black market for that type of animal. Cartels, what have you. Oh, yeah, I bet. And it’s our job to assure the lemur’s safety. Of course. Make sure it’s reunited with its family in Madagascar. [WOMAN OVER PA] Linda Marino, you’re needed at Emergency. Family is very important. I gotta go. I’ll see you around. And Nan’s roommate Harriet. She has dementia, so she’s totally cocoa puffs, it’s just a waste of time. – So – Cocoa puffs. Good to know. [GRETA ON RADIO] Welcome back, everyone. I’m your host, Dr. Greta Mantleray. What’s giving you pain today? I have Hank from Cold Harbor. [HANK] Yeah, hi, Dr. Greta. Um, so, I love my wife, we’re raising two amazing little girls, but I’m afraid of her, she’s really [“OUT OF TOUCH” PLAYS] Thanks for pickin’ me up. Yeah, no problem. Do you have my bag? Of course. Oh, it’s heavy. Oh, you’re not kiddin’. And I got you these for your allergies. Oh. [BRUCE] You said there was a chinchilla there. Did you know female chinchillas only have one mate, but the males can have as many as they want? – [LINDA] Oh, really? – [BRUCE] I think that’s interesting. [LINDA] In your dreams, Bruce. [ENGINE STARTS] A I read somewhere that antihistamines are bad for you. They stop your body from defending itself. Then don’t take ‘em. You’re out of touch I’m out of time But I’m out of my head – When you’re not around – What the fudge? Oh, it’s Danielle’s squirt gun, I spray-painted it. What? You never know, Bruce. my head when you’re not around – [SIGHS] – What is that for? Key to the city. No alarm. I told you these guys are dummies. I don’t even know who you are anymore. What? [LINDA] Okay. Okay, go ahead. Go. – What are we doing? – Go. [BEEPING] [DOOR BEEPS] – I thought you knew the code. – Wait. Shh. [POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES] – What are the dancin’ numbers? – Huh? What are the numbers you say when you’re about to dance? – Five, six, seven, eight? – Oh. [NUMBER PAD BEEPING] [DOOR UNLOCKS] [WHISPERS] Yes! – They’re fudgin’ dancers too? – Yeah. [TV PLAYING SOFTLY] – [SNORING] – Fuck. Sh. [WENDY SQUEAKS SOFTLY] I’m gonna sneeze. Hey, don’t sneeze. Don’t sneeze. Think it down. Think it down. You can do it, babe. Don’t sneeze. [WOMAN ON TV] Exactly the information I wanted. Every morsel of it. Hey. Alrighty. You should have taken that antihistamine. Oh, fudge. Oh, not my face! [WENDY SQUEAKING] Wake up, you freakin’ douchebag. [WENDY SQUEAKS] You wake up. That’s annoying. You two made a big mistake tonight. Don’t you fuckin’ dare. [SEBASTIAN] You. You’re the nurse, aren’t you? I’m the legal guardian of that lemur. That lemur became my lemur when I stole it from you. That is so far – from how property law works. – Yeah. [SEBASTIAN] I still haven’t decided what I’m gonna do with you two. Maybe, uh you accidentally get shot breaking into my store. Maybe you both just disappear in a ditch. Yeah, maybe we take their skin and put it on each other’s bodies. – What? – We’re we’re spitballin’. No, we weren’t. Anyway, the point is, we have options. But I know one thing. Tonight – you’re gonna watch me skin that lemur. – [SIREN WHOOPS] – [LOPEZ] Sebastian and sons – Check it out. We have you surrounded. Come out with your hands up. Come out now and we’ll end this peacefully. – You okay? – [LANCE] It’s the cops. Motherfuckers. Shit! – [BRUCE] It’s good. It’s good. – [SEBASTIAN] Boys Your grandfather always used to say the American dream is like a giant tree. You just keep climbin’ and climbin’, until you can almost touch the fuckin’ sun. And if someone tries to chop it down you fuck ‘em in the face. Go fuck ‘em, Dad. [LOPEZ OVER MEGAPHONE] This is Fish and Wildlife. Come out with your hands up. Fish and Wildlife? I thought you were real fucking cops. There’s not much of a difference, authority-wise. Now come out with your hands up, and with the hostage, Wendy the lemur, unharmed. Fuck you! [SEBASTIAN LAUGHS] [GLASS SHATTERS] [SEBASTIAN] Is that all you got? I’m a bear! I’m a motherfucking grizzly bear! I eat fish and wildlife! [YELLING] What the fuck? It’s finally happening! – Brucie? – [LANCE] Shit. – It’s okay. – I get the Desert Eagle. – I get the – I get the Desert Eagle. – All right, on three. One, two – Three. Give me the fucking Beretta. – Lance! JC! – What do we do about them? – We’ll deal with you later. – Get the fuck up here! Go help Dad! Go! – [LANCE] We’re comin’, Dad! – [JC] Go! [SEBASTIAN] Where are you guys? I’m gonna get us out of here, okay? – Untie me. – Okay. Wait for him to reload! Wait Now! Heavy fire! My furs are my babies! [LANCE] Dad! [SEBASTIAN] Fuck! Where are you guys? Cover me out there. – [LINDA] Come on. – [BRUCE] Pull, pull, pull, pull! I can’t get you untied. I got to leave you here. Don’t you dare! – Let’s go. – [GASPS] [SEBASTIAN] Let’s go! [GUNFIRE] – [SEBASTIAN] Stay steady! – Oh! Okay, okay. It’s okay, Wendy. It’s okay. – You ready? – Ah, yeah. – You ready? – Yeah. – Go! – [SEBASTIAN] Stay with it. – [SEBASTIAN] Lance, cover me over there. – [LANCE] I’m trying. [JC] Lance! – Make it crisp! – [LANCE] You make it crisp! – [SEBASTIAN] Hit ‘em on that side! – [GUNFIRE CONTINUES] [YELLING] Okay, now, here we go! No, Lance! No! No! Back, back, back, back, back! Crisp! [JC SCREAMS] No! – Gotta find the back door. – Hey! Hey! – What? – Exit. – Exit. Let’s go. Come on! – [SEBASTIAN] Oh, my boy! My beautiful boy! Come on. Babe. – Come on, babe. – [WHIMPERING] Okay, okay! [WHISPERING] Okay, okay! It doesn’t fit inside! [SEBASTIAN] You killed a star! A big, bright, burning star! – [BRUCE] Go! Go! – [LINDA] Okay. [SEBASTIAN] A full burning star! Don’t stop burning! – [TIRES SQUEAL] – [LINDA] Put it in drive! Put it in drive! [BRUCE] Gonna put it in sport mode! [LINDA] Go, Brucie! Go, go, go! Take the parkway! Turn it left! [BRUCE] No seatbelt, baby! [BRUCE] You see it? [LINDA] Uh, seventy – There. – [BRUCE] Oh, yeah. Want me to go in with you? No, Nan said it should just be me. Okay. I know this is all very weird. I don’t find any of this weird. You don’t? I don’t know. You always have a way of makin’ life excitin’. Okay. Pardon me while I go deliver a lemur. [COOING] THE NAZLUNDS [LINDA] Hello. You Paula? Is that Wendy? Yeah. – [PAULA] You realize what time it is? – I I’m sorry.

THE HAND THAT TAKES
THIS IS THE HAND
OK WHO IS THIS REALLY
...
AND THE VOICE SAID
AND I SAID
APPOINTED ROUNDS
OF THEIR
FROM THE SWIFT COMPLETION
SHALL STAY THESE COURIERS
NOR GLOOM OF LIGHT
NOR RAIN
NEITHER SNOW

[PAULA] Come in. [WENDY COOS] Thank you. Okay. [GRUNTS] [LINDA] I like your Hummels. [PAULA] Do you take your coffee black? I should tell you why I’m here. [PAULA] Honey, you don’t know why you’re here. Y-yes, I do. Your mother explained it to me. She said that you and her had had your problems, but as a gesture of reconciliation, she wanted to give you this lemur. Her lemur. Why? You know, I think it It’s her way of telling you she loved you. No. That’s not an “I love you” lemur. That’s a “go fuck yourself” lemur. Um – Sorry? – [PAULA] Got this in the mail yesterday. “Dear Paula, I’m close to dyin’ now, and I’ve been thinkin’ of that terrible argument we had. Tempers flared, you said things I’m sure you regret, but now that death may separate us forever, maybe you’ll finally come to your senses and realize lemurs are better than human children. Here are the reasons why. One, lemurs don’t talk back. Two, lemurs aren’t selfish. Three, lemurs don’t destroy what you hope to make of yourself. “ OLIVIA MEADOWS, YOUR “EMOTIONAL POLTERGEIST,” WHO YOU SCREAMED AT DURING YOUR BLIP. What the fudge? – [PAULA] “Lemurs like to cuddle. “ – What was that? [PAULA] “And five, lemurs are not capable of operating large vehicles or heavy machinery. A lemur will bring you far more joy than a child ever will. Please take Wendy and avoid makin’ the same mistake I made by havin’ you. Love, your mother Nan. “ Maybe she’s right. [PAULA] I’m sorry? Maybe you shouldn’t have children. I don’t know who you are, but you seem like exactly the kind of person my mother would send. How wonderful that she found you. But you’re too late. I’m already pregnant. In 22 weeks I’ll be havin’ a baby boy. Congratulations. I’m gonna name him Greg. Greg “Fuck U Nan” Nazlund. I think it’s a fittin’ tribute to a woman who wanted a fuckin’ lemur more than she wanted me. [DOOR CLOSES] What happened? – She didn’t want Wendy. – [BRUCE] No! That’s not gonna fly. I’m goin’ in there, I’ll talk to her. – No, Bruce, don’t. – No, that is not gonna fly. Not after everything you did to get here. I’m going in there, I’m gonna give her – a piece of my mind. – Don’t! Sorry. I’m sorry. This one mornin’ It was back when we lived upstate. [WENDY CHATTERING] My sister and I woke up, and no one was home. Not my mom not my dad The whole house was empty. And my sister got scared. [WENDY CHIRPS] And so I took her hand and I said no problem. We’d go out and find ‘em. Like an adventure. And so we went out and we started walkin’ down this driveway. You know, we had that long driveway that went on for almost a mile? Mm. And after a while, I saw my dad’s old gray pickup truck. And I could see it was on because of the exhaust. [WENDY CHIRPS] And as we got closer I could see it was just one person in the car, in the driver’s seat. I could see it was just my dad. In the front sittin’ there. I saw that he was cryin’. [SIGHS DEEPLY] He was crying, and he saw me in the rear-view. When I looked at his eyes I knew right away that my mom was either dead or gone forever. Somethin’. And I had my sister’s hand ‘cause all I cared about was keepin’ her away. And she stopped. And I just said “Come on. Let’s go back and let’s make a cake. We’ll pretend it’s your birthday. “ And she She looked up at me, and she said, “Okay. “ And we walked back and we made a cake. [BRUCE] When did they get back together? Hm? Linda your parents aren’t divorced. Maybe I’m just tired. [CHUCKLES] [BRUCE] We both got knocked on the head. Yeah, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ll get her. [DOOR OPENS] [SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS] [SIGHS] [GROANS] Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Marino. – Hi. – [VICKY] Hi. [SIGHS] The kids were great. Um, how was your date? It was a blast. You should get home. Your mother’s probably worried about you. – [SIGHS] – [VICKY] Yeah. [BRUCE] Is 60 cool? Yeah, sure. – [VICKY] Thanks. – [SIGHS] [DOOR OPENS] [DOOR CLOSES] – [WENDY CHIRPING] – I wanna keep her. Wendy. [BRUCE] I’m sorry. Hm? That I can’t make you happy. [WENDY COOS] Of course you make me happy. [“EXACTLY LIKE YOU” PLAYS] You’ve always made me happy. – I know why I’ve waited – Okay. – I know why I’ve been blue – Where you goin’? – Prayed each night for someone – Take out the trash. Exactly like you [DOOR OPENS] Why should we spend money On a show or two – When no one sings those love songs – [SIRENS WAILING] Exactly like you? You make me feel so grand [LOPEZ] Get on your knees! Now! She had nothin’ to do with it. – [LOPEZ] Get on your knees! – I did it. I’m guilty. [LOPEZ] Cuff him! [MAN] Hands behind your back. Come on. Now I know why Mother Taught me to be true She meant me for someone exactly like you.  [OWL HOOTS] I know why I’ve waited I know why I’ve been blue Prayed each night for someone  [SONG CONTINUES ON RADIO] Exactly like you Why should we spend money  On a show or two  Turn that off, would you, Bobby? [MUSIC STOPS] [SIGHS] Do you smell that clean air? I just smell manure. Oh, it’s different up here. Good things happen when you get out of the city. I get shot every time I leave New York. That’s an exaggeration. Degas run in Cap-Ferrat? Shot. Gauguin ceramics in Marquesas? Shot. That time in Jackson Hole with the wife? Also shot. – But Jackson Hole was our biggest score. – Still counts. Hmm. I never noticed that pattern before. Bobby, pull over. I think my mind is playing tricks. I know you ain’t superstitious like me, boss, but I find this very serendipitous. Maybe fate’s tellin’ you you need a partner. This job is gonna be a real doozy. Get her as far away from here as possible. I don’t care if you have to drive her to Atlantis. Keep her away from that séance. I’d need a boat to take her to Atlantis, boss. Hi, Ollie. – What are you doing here? – I was about to ask you the same thing. Oh, you know me, always poppin’ up in the wrong place. You know you need a ticket, right? The Neverdies don’t just let anyone in. Wanna go together? Sounds good. It’s good to see you, Ollie. And it’s disturbing to see you. Hey! Hey! Damn it, Ollie. Presto chango. Look. It’s happening again. A fraction from one and nine creating persistent inadvertent harmonies. Inverse self-reflections are present. Present in both. That’s fascinating. Every time I separate them, they just find their way back together. They’re sticking. – It’s reminiscent of iteration 41. – [AZUMI] It has to be hardware. We should examine the IO spindle. [AZUMI] Yeah, there and there. Just a little scoring. Maybe something inside the F housing. But it’s impossible to tell while we’re still running. Do you want to order a full reset? No, my mother was too conservative when it came to these anomalies. Well, then, we’ll push through. I’ll try to manage it manually. [MANTLERAY] Data tank between one and nine, yes. Uncomfortable, but manageable. I’ll pulsadrate nine out early to unravel any globular weaving. Just do your best to uncouple them. I’ll do the repairs right before we run the evens. Yes, sir. Azumi We’ve shared intimacies. You don’t have to call me sir. Ticket, please. Lady Neverdine welcomes you to the Full Moon Séance, Sir Hightower. [MAN] May I take your coat, sir? [DOOR OPENS] – [EERIE MUSIC PLAYS] – [MAN] I have never been [MAN] After the séance, well, I know things have changed. – Will Arlie Kane be here? – Is that Ollie Hightower? – He is lonesome. – Is he as big a Cervantes fan as we are? – don’t see it, I’m sorry. – Oh, stop being so obvious. – Lady Neberdine lets us tour the house. – Not tonight. – Oh, bother. – Hey, go back to Hightower [WOMAN] Do you know what they thought owls meant in the old days, Ollie? Hello, Olivia. They’re the moon incarnate. They lead us someplace safe. Every time. This séance brought out all the usual suspects, didn’t it? I only see one. And I’m hoping he’ll take me under his wing. Show me the ropes. Not tonight, kid.  I work alone. You always gonna fly solo, Ollie? [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS] [OLLIE] He said, “There’s no such thing as magic, of course. “ – [LAUGHTER] – So I made him a bet. I bet that I would do a trick and he couldn’t figure it out. And if I lost, I would give up magic forever. – And if you won? – [OLLIE] He would give me his peerage. You see, I wanted his “sir”. And I got it. – [WOMAN] How? – [SECOND WOMAN] Tell us! I performed a trick. [WOMAN] Oh, come on. And he was unable to crack it, and now I am Sir Ollie. – You can imagine – You can’t give away a title like that. – Well, sure you can. – But what was the trick, Ollie? – Come on, show it to us. – Yes. I’ll demonstrate on our fair butler here. Good sir, may I have a moment of your time? I need to prepare for the great illumination. Oh, come here. It’s just one minute. Just right here, come on. All right, you name a card and it will appear on the very top of this deck. – Any card? – Any card. Nine of hearts. [OLLIE] Nine of hearts. Presto chango! Wow. [CHUCKLES] [BRUCE] We both got knocked on the head. Yeah, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ll get her. [DOOR OPENS] [SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS] [SIGHS] [GROANS] Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Marino. – Hi. – [VICKY] Hi. [SIGHS] The kids were great. Um, how was your date? It was a blast. You should get home. Your mother’s probably worried about you. – [SIGHS] – [VICKY] Yeah. [BRUCE] Is 60 cool? Yeah, sure. – [VICKY] Thanks. – [SIGHS] [DOOR OPENS] [DOOR CLOSES] – [WENDY CHIRPING] – I wanna keep her. Wendy. [BRUCE] I’m sorry. Hm? That I can’t make you happy. [WENDY COOS] Of course you make me happy. [“EXACTLY LIKE YOU” PLAYS] You’ve always made me happy. – I know why I’ve waited – Okay. – I know why I’ve been blue – Where you goin’? – Prayed each night for someone – Take out the trash. Exactly like you [DOOR OPENS] Why should we spend money On a show or two – When no one sings those love songs – [SIRENS WAILING] Exactly like you? You make me feel so grand [LOPEZ] Get on your knees! Now! She had nothin’ to do with it. – [LOPEZ] Get on your knees! – I did it. I’m guilty. [LOPEZ] Cuff him! [MAN] Hands behind your back. Come on. Now I know why Mother Taught me to be true She meant me for someone exactly like you.  [OWL HOOTS] I know why I’ve waited I know why I’ve been blue Prayed each night for someone  [SONG CONTINUES ON RADIO] Exactly like you Why should we spend money  On a show or two  Turn that off, would you, Bobby? [MUSIC STOPS] [SIGHS] Do you smell that clean air? I just smell manure. Oh, it’s different up here. Good things happen when you get out of the city. I get shot every time I leave New York. That’s an exaggeration. Degas run in Cap-Ferrat? Shot. Gauguin ceramics in Marquesas? Shot. That time in Jackson Hole with the wife? Also shot. – But Jackson Hole was our biggest score. – Still counts. Hmm. I never noticed that pattern before. Bobby, pull over. I think my mind is playing tricks. I know you ain’t superstitious like me, boss, but I find this very serendipitous. Maybe fate’s tellin’ you you need a partner. This job is gonna be a real doozy. Get her as far away from here as possible. I don’t care if you have to drive her to Atlantis. Keep her away from that séance. I’d need a boat to take her to Atlantis, boss. Hi, Ollie. – What are you doing here? – I was about to ask you the same thing. Oh, you know me, always poppin’ up in the wrong place. You know you need a ticket, right? The Neverdies don’t just let anyone in. Wanna go together? Sounds good. It’s good to see you, Ollie. And it’s disturbing to see you. Hey! Hey! Damn it, Ollie. Presto chango. Look. It’s happening again. A fraction from one and nine creating persistent inadvertent harmonies. Inverse self-reflections are present. Present in both. That’s fascinating. Every time I separate them, they just find their way back together. They’re sticking. – It’s reminiscent of iteration 41. – [AZUMI] It has to be hardware. We should examine the IO spindle. [AZUMI] Yeah, there and there. Just a little scoring. Maybe something inside the F housing. But it’s impossible to tell while we’re still running. Do you want to order a full reset? No, my mother was too conservative when it came to these anomalies. Well, then, we’ll push through. I’ll try to manage it manually. [MANTLERAY] Data tank between one and nine, yes. Uncomfortable, but manageable. I’ll pulsadrate nine out early to unravel any globular weaving. Just do your best to uncouple them. I’ll do the repairs right before we run the evens. Yes, sir. Azumi We’ve shared intimacies. You don’t have to call me sir. Ticket, please. Lady Neverdine welcomes you to the Full Moon Séance, Sir Hightower. [MAN] May I take your coat, sir? [DOOR OPENS] – [EERIE MUSIC PLAYS] – [MAN] I have never been [MAN] After the séance, well, I know things have changed. – Will Arlie Kane be here? – Is that Ollie Hightower? – He is lonesome. – Is he as big a Cervantes fan as we are? – don’t see it, I’m sorry. – Oh, stop being so obvious. – Lady Neberdine lets us tour the house. – Not tonight. – Oh, bother. – Hey, go back to Hightower [WOMAN] Do you know what they thought owls meant in the old days, Ollie? Hello, Olivia. They’re the moon incarnate. They lead us someplace safe. Every time. This séance brought out all the usual suspects, didn’t it? I only see one. And I’m hoping he’ll take me under his wing. Show me the ropes. Not tonight, kid.  I work alone. You always gonna fly solo, Ollie? [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS] [OLLIE] He said, “There’s no such thing as magic, of course. “ – [LAUGHTER] – So I made him a bet. I bet that I would do a trick and he couldn’t figure it out. And if I lost, I would give up magic forever. – And if you won? – [OLLIE] He would give me his peerage. You see, I wanted his “sir”. And I got it. – [WOMAN] How? – [SECOND WOMAN] Tell us! I performed a trick. [WOMAN] Oh, come on. And he was unable to crack it, and now I am Sir Ollie. – You can imagine – You can’t give away a title like that. – Well, sure you can. – But what was the trick, Ollie? – Come on, show it to us. – Yes. I’ll demonstrate on our fair butler here. Good sir, may I have a moment of your time? I need to prepare for the great illumination. Oh, come here. It’s just one minute. Just right here, come on. All right, you name a card and it will appear on the very top of this deck. – Any card? – Any card. Nine of hearts. [OLLIE] Nine of hearts. Presto chango! Wow. [MAN] Fantastic. – Amazing. – If you’ll excuse me. You’ve done just fine, and if you’ll excuse me one moment. You know that peach is bad news, Ollie. Oh, no. She’s just my wife. [ARLIE] What does that mean? Sudden change and destruction will lead to your liberation. [OLLIE] For his own sake, Bobby better be lying dead in a ditch somewhere. He’s not. How’d you trick him into bringing you back, huh? I didn’t. It’s just very hard to say no to me. Why don’t we just lay our cards on the table? What’s that? You have to pay up for a bad joke. [GONG SOUNDS] [WHISPERS] You are here to steal the lost 53rd chapter of Don Quixote. Just like me and half these lunatics at this séance. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Attention, fellow Neverdies, and those who are with us. Do you feel something in the room? Do feel something vibrating among us? Fuck. Component C protocol hasn’t been triggered. Right now. It hasn’t. Why the fuck is Gertie actively participating? [MANTLERAY] What’s the problem? She’s put herself in. Who? [BUTLER] Tonight is a special night. May I present the first Neverdie. Gertie Neberdine. A true goddess of Luna. [APPLAUSE] Oh! – I can’t believe it! – All hail the Queen. – [GERTIE] Oh! I cn’t believe it. – Come on, I’ll introduce you. [AZUMI] There are some things I haven’t told you. Things I I wasn’t fully aware of before I brought you back. I think we have a serious problem. I think our computer is horribly depressed. And might be behaving unpredictably. We’re both great admirers. Yes, I sensed it. Arlie Kane, I know all about you. I heard you two were separated. We were. No longer. Hon, let me get you a drink. Excuse me. Oh! This is Robert. [ARLIE] Hello. What’s wrong with him? It’s so hard to keep those we’ve lost in our lives. Don’t you agree? You must excuse me. All right. Okay. [DOOR CREAKS] Gotcha! – Any lost chapters? – [GASPS] You and your zapping around. Why do you keep trying to ditch me, Ollie? Because you are on my continent. No more jokes, Arlie. Go back to Paris. I’m working. – You still drink gimlets? – You still poison ‘em? I only poisoned the one. What should we cheers to? How about the night my wife stole everything I have, slipped me a Mickey, disappeared, and I woke up with the cops and three years in the clink. I heard you pled guilty to that Sister Wendy job. Yeah, I have to quit doing that. So what happened to this dame that betrayed you? Rumor has it she ran off with another woman. Sounds like she might have had some sort of condition. [ARLIE] What does that mean? Sudden change and destruction will lead to your liberation. [OLLIE] For his own sake, Bobby better be lying dead in a ditch somewhere. He’s not. How’d you trick him into bringing you back, huh? I didn’t. It’s just very hard to say no to me. Why don’t we just lay our cards on the table? What’s that? You have to pay up for a bad joke. [GONG SOUNDS] [WHISPERS] You are here to steal the lost 53rd chapter of Don Quixote. Just like me and half these lunatics at this séance. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Attention, fellow Neverdies, and those who are with us. Do you feel something in the room? Do feel something vibrating among us? Fuck. Component C protocol hasn’t been triggered. Right now. It hasn’t. Why the fuck is Gertie actively participating? [MANTLERAY] What’s the problem? She’s put herself in. Who? [BUTLER] Tonight is a special night. May I present the first Neverdie. Gertie Neberdine. A true goddess of Luna. [APPLAUSE] Oh! – I can’t believe it! – All hail the Queen. – [GERTIE] Oh! I cn’t believe it. – Come on, I’ll introduce you. [AZUMI] There are some things I haven’t told you. Things I I wasn’t fully aware of before I brought you back. I think we have a serious problem. I think our computer is horribly depressed. And might be behaving unpredictably. We’re both great admirers. Yes, I sensed it. Arlie Kane, I know all about you. I heard you two were separated. We were. No longer. Hon, let me get you a drink. Excuse me. Oh! This is Robert. [ARLIE] Hello. What’s wrong with him? It’s so hard to keep those we’ve lost in our lives. Don’t you agree? You must excuse me. All right. Okay. [DOOR CREAKS] Gotcha! – Any lost chapters? – [GASPS] You and your zapping around. Why do you keep trying to ditch me, Ollie? Because you are on my continent. No more jokes, Arlie. Go back to Paris. I’m working. – You still drink gimlets? – You still poison ‘em? I only poisoned the one. What should we cheers to? How about the night my wife stole everything I have, slipped me a Mickey, disappeared, and I woke up with the cops and three years in the clink. I heard you pled guilty to that Sister Wendy job. Yeah, I have to quit doing that. So what happened to this dame that betrayed you? Rumor has it she ran off with another woman. Sounds like she might have had some sort of condition.

JUSTICE.
MOM.
SO HOLD ME,
MOM.
FORCE.
THERE'S ALWAYS
LOVE IS GONE
FORCE IS GONE
JUSTICE IS GONE
AND WHEN
HI MOM :)
THERE'S ALWAYS
THERE'S ALWAYS
AND WHEN
CUZ WHEN

[OLLIE] She did. She always disappeared just when you needed her the most. To mistakes, then. You hear what I heard? – About what the lost chapter can do? – No, and I don’t care. 1615, Cervantes writes the final chapter to his masterpiece. So powerful that anyone who reads it is lost in their own fantasies forever. He shows it to a friend, who slips into a coma. Same with a neighbor, never comes out. They live in their own dream worlds until they die. – Sounds swell. – [ARLIE] Cervantes thought the opposite. He said being lost like that was a fate worse than death. For someone who didn’t come here for the lost chapter, you seem to have thought a lot about the lost chapter. Don’t be dense, Ollie. I’m not here for some score. But wouldn’t you know? The lost chapter is hidden somewhere in this mansion. I’m here to help you. Goodbye, Arlie. You don’t know where it is, do you? ‘Cause I do. It’s through a mirror. Who gave you that information? Some wise old crone in an alleyway in Barcelona. What does it matter to you? Because you lie constantly, that’s why. So what was your plan, then, Ollie? To snoop from room to room until you happened upon it next September? Hah. Even if you knew where it was, she’d have it in a safe, and you can’t crack a safe without me. Well, I’m here to help you. So for old times’ sake, Mr.  Magic Fingers, how about I do intel and you crack the safe? We can’t help but do what we’ve always done. Do I have a choice in the matter? No. – [GONG SOUNDS] – 9:05, time for the main event. Do not make me regret trusting you. I’ll never betray you again. Then wait for my signal. [BUTLER] Oh, joyous Celestial Goddess, now is the time for your energy to flow through us and pour life back into our lady’s beloved. [GERTIE] Tonight we speak to Juno, tonight we speak to Diana and tonight her life brings life to us. Lunar goddess? Who will be tonight’s astral nodes? Oh. Them, I think. Those two. Us? – What the hell are we supposed to do? – The moon will tell you. [BUTLER] We have reached maximum illumination. [PEOPLE GASP] [“EXACTLY LIKE YOU” PLAYS] They’re playing our song. Stop trying to stick yourselves together! [PEOPLE GASP] Oh, she’s gone to the astral plane. Oh, it’s working! It’s working! Who wants to join her? Another dancer. You. Now. Wait, wait. [MAN YELLS INDISTINCTLY] with a title that you trade away! Because I’m their father, and you’re their mother! God damn it! I have no idea where you are! – Is Mom coming back? – that again. Is that about the size of it? Um tell me the whole story again. You don’t get to give that up, Rosie. – No! – Once upon a time – there were two girls. – It’s not a fucking title They rode through the forest on a wolf. A wolf, yeah. They were going to their grandmother’s house. But they didn’t read the sign. So, they got lost and couldn’t really find their way home, until they read one of the signs. It said, “Don’t go this way. “ [“EXACTLY LIKE YOU” PLAYING] – Good evening, fellas. – Evening. [APPLAUSE] – [APPLAUSE] – [SIGHS] [GRUNTING] You didn’t wait for my signal. [GASPS] Good gravy! [BREATHING HEAVILY] Help me down. Come on. I’m gonna read you this time because I am healthy Annie now, and healthy people read books and travel, and exercise and take care of their minds. – Where’s Jackie? – [ROOMMATE] She’s in the shitter. What the fuck? Did you take my money? Yeah, I took your money. You haven’t paid rent in three months. I haven’t had a job in five months. Well, maybe you should be a little more goal-oriented. Can I at least have 20 bucks? Yes. [AUTOMATED VOICE] Cleaning is progress. Error. Error. [AUTOMATED MACHINE WHIZZES] Can’t be processed. Error. Can’t be processed. Error. Error. Can’t be processed. Error. Can’t be processed. Error. Error. Can’t be processed. Can’t be processed. Error. Error. Godspeed, little shit-eater. [AUTOMATED MACHINE IMITATES DOG BARKING] [ANNIE] Hello? Are you dead? [HANK] No. Good. You gonna come out today? Your yard is a fucking mess. [HANK] “All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare. “ Mmm. Is that Rilke? [HANK] Spinoza. I like it. I just came by to tell you I’m gonna go away for a while. I was thinking about taking the bus to Salt Lake, go see Ellie. You could come. We could go together. [HANK] Oh, I’m really busy right now. Is the combination to the safe still the same? I just need to borrow a little bit for my bus ticket. [HANK] I changed it. To what? [HANK] Your birthday. Got tired of thinking of your mother every time. Promise me you’re gonna eat while I’m gone? I got you cereal. [HANK] Apple Jacks? Of course. Hey, maybe when I’m back we could go to Totonno’s for dinner. [HANK] Maybe. Okay. Love you, Dad. [TRAFFIC NOISES] [TV PLAYING] [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 12:25 – 706 – SALT LAKE, GATE 14 BUS INFORMATION [LETTERS ON BOARD ROTATING] Fuck you. [ANNIE] I need more. [PEOPLE LAUGHING] I can’t. But why, though? [KOALA] That’s a great move, dude-wad. You dirty motherfucker. [KOALA] Come on, bud. Calvin. It was a one-time thing. My dad had a mini-stroke after I stole ‘em. Why do you even like that ULP shit? – It’s dark. – So, what if I really, really need some more, however I can get it? [KOALA] I don’t got all day here, pal. Sign up for a Neberdine study. Help make my dad’s company millions. That’s it, I just sign up? – [KOALA] That was pathetic. – No. – They screen you. – [KOALA] Checkmate. You could be testing deodorant for a week. I’m fucked. – Just lost a hundred dollars. – [KOALA] What’s yours is mine now, bitch. Hey. Hey, you’re my friend. Yeah? – And can I say something, as your friend? – Sure, yeah. You sound like a junkie. I’m not a junkie. I’m a recreational drug user. Like you, by the way. – What is the name of the person at intake? – I can’t tell you that. ULP’s gotten way more secretive since the suicides. [ANNIE] Give me a name. Gesundheit. Gesundheit!! [KOALA] Rude. Lugo. Patricia Lugo. Patricia Lugo. Thank you. [KOALA] Nice friend. It’s yours. [KOALA] Right into the eucalyptus fund. [MATT] Three hundred to get started. – [ANNIE] To blackmail somebody? – Yeah. Okey-dokey. Who’s your target? [MATT MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] I can’t read your handwriting. Patricia Lugo. [TYPING] She’s the intake director at Neberdine Pharmaceuticals and Biotech. You going in and getting high and robbing the place? [CHUCKLES] Patricia Lugo, Nerberdine Pharmaceuticals Biotech. She paid Zip Dox to have her public arrest records scrubbed. Zip Dox is Shit Dox. Easy to unscrub. [DOOR-BELLS JINGLE] This is legal, right? Think we’d have it on the storefront if the Banner Act didn’t make it legal? Yes. You gotta pay us more than she paid Shit Dox. Five hundred. [WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE] You get a free calendar. [WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE] [MATT] Patricia Lugo. Gambling addict, disorderly arrest in Atlantic City. Lost custody of her daughter, Usnavy. Goes to Hunter. Good job, had it for 18 months. Probably had records scrubbed so she could get it. You want the whole skeleton-closet file? I could threaten to kidnap the daughter too. [ANNIE] No. – That shit always works. – No, it’s fine. I don’t – I don’t want to harm her in any way. – [MATT] Uh-huh. Okay. Here’s your calendar. Other options. Volunteers at CP Center, user of Friend Proxy, pays way too much for luggage Wait, Friend Proxy? Does she have appointments coming up? Ah Interception. Hm? [BIRDS CHIRPING] Patricia? Juanita. [CHUCKLES] [LAUGHS] Oh! Hey. – It’s so good to see you again. – You too. You too. You know, um, every time I walk in this place, I get pulled back into this room, you know? Oh, me too. Me too. I just love little trees. I meant because of how we met. – Right here. – Sure. – At the bonsais. – Oh, yeah. That too. That too. Do you remember that summer? How much fun we had, right? – [LAUGHS] – Oh! Running up and down Coney every day Eating icy pops. Yeah, when we took the train, with Uncle Liam. Now, who the fuck is Uncle Liam? I’m sorry. I I don’t Do you want to start over or something? Seriously? What, then, you new? No. I’m What ? What’s your rating? ‘Cause you really don’t have a very good feel for people, honey. You’re using a service that gives you pretend friends. I have real friends. This is just more convenient. Mm-hmm. Oh, you have friends? You know what? I don’t even work for Friend Proxy. All right? I canceled your appointment, and I am here to fuck up your life, lady. I’m gonna blackmail the shit out of you. What? [PATRICIA] What? What are you talking about? Who are you? Forget it. I’m sorry. – No, no, no, no, wait. Who are you? – No, I’m really sorry, okay? I’m sorry. – [BIRDS CHIRPING] – [WATER FLOWING] Hey. Can I sit with you? I’m just trying to understand. I’m a bit confused. Am I a mark? Yeah. For what? I’m I’m broke. I was trying to get into a study at your work. And I said I’m sorry, so can you leave now, please? Why? – I really don’t need – No, really, I’m asking you why? Is this some AA shit? I’m enjoying this pond. You remind me of my little girl, that’s all. If there’s anything I can help So why? Because I am addicted to a drug that your company’s testing. That’s not the “why” I’m asking. What “why” are you asking? Five years ago, my sister and I got into a really bad fight. Very, very bad. And I can’t fix it. So there’s this rock that sits in my stomach, this cold rock. Like a boulder, and it’s just there all the time. And I found this pill It helps me get through the day. It’s not hurting anyone. And it makes me feel good. It is the only thing that makes me feel good. Have you tried talking to her? I can’t. Why shouldn’t I be able to take a pill like that whenever I want? You should, hon. If it ain’t hurting anyone. Hmm? [PEOPLE CHATTERING] Super happy. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] Helpful. Togetherness. You don’t have to rush. Okay. Sorry. Sisters. Making faces at each other. It’s supposed to be an emotion. What you feel. Fine. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] [WOMAN] Now, please turn your attention to me as I ask you this final question. [MACHINE BUZZES] The test is complete. Please go back to the reception area and wait. Did I ? Did I pass the test? What was that last question? I was telling the truth about all those pictures. – [WOMAN] This test is not about the truth. – Well, what is it about? Defense mechanisms. I don’t have fucking defense mechanisms. I think you should let me do it again. Who’s in charge of the red light? I I don’t fucking understand because I am supposed to be part of the trial. [WOMAN] I’m sorry. This is fucking bullshit. [ANNIE] Patricia. Patricia. No. No, no, no, no, no. No more favors. I got bosses around. No more. Go.[AUTOMATED MACHINE IMITATES DOG BARKING] [ANNIE] Hello? Are you dead? [HANK] No. Good. You gonna come out today? Your yard is a fucking mess. [HANK] “All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare. “ Mmm. Is that Rilke? [HANK] Spinoza. I like it. I just came by to tell you I’m gonna go away for a while. I was thinking about taking the bus to Salt Lake, go see Ellie. You could come. We could go together. [HANK] Oh, I’m really busy right now. Is the combination to the safe still the same? I just need to borrow a little bit for my bus ticket. [HANK] I changed it. To what? [HANK] Your birthday. Got tired of thinking of your mother every time. Promise me you’re gonna eat while I’m gone? I got you cereal. [HANK] Apple Jacks? Of course. Hey, maybe when I’m back we could go to Totonno’s for dinner. [HANK] Maybe. Okay. Love you, Dad. [TRAFFIC NOISES] [TV PLAYING] [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 12:25 – 706 – SALT LAKE, GATE 14 BUS INFORMATION [LETTERS ON BOARD ROTATING] Fuck you. [ANNIE] I need more. [PEOPLE LAUGHING] I can’t. But why, though? [KOALA] That’s a great move, dude-wad. You dirty motherfucker. [KOALA] Come on, bud. Calvin. It was a one-time thing. My dad had a mini-stroke after I stole ‘em. Why do you even like that ULP shit? – It’s dark. – So, what if I really, really need some more, however I can get it? [KOALA] I don’t got all day here, pal. Sign up for a Neberdine study. Help make my dad’s company millions. That’s it, I just sign up? – [KOALA] That was pathetic. – No. – They screen you. – [KOALA] Checkmate. You could be testing deodorant for a week. I’m fucked. – Just lost a hundred dollars. – [KOALA] What’s yours is mine now, bitch. Hey. Hey, you’re my friend. Yeah? – And can I say something, as your friend? – Sure, yeah. You sound like a junkie. I’m not a junkie. I’m a recreational drug user. Like you, by the way. – What is the name of the person at intake? – I can’t tell you that. ULP’s gotten way more secretive since the suicides. [ANNIE] Give me a name. Gesundheit. Gesundheit!! [KOALA] Rude. Lugo. Patricia Lugo. Patricia Lugo. Thank you. [KOALA] Nice friend. It’s yours. [KOALA] Right into the eucalyptus fund. [MATT] Three hundred to get started. – [ANNIE] To blackmail somebody? – Yeah. Okey-dokey. Who’s your target? [MATT MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] I can’t read your handwriting. Patricia Lugo. [TYPING] She’s the intake director at Neberdine Pharmaceuticals and Biotech. You going in and getting high and robbing the place? [CHUCKLES] Patricia Lugo, Nerberdine Pharmaceuticals Biotech. She paid Zip Dox to have her public arrest records scrubbed. Zip Dox is Shit Dox. Easy to unscrub. [DOOR-BELLS JINGLE] This is legal, right? Think we’d have it on the storefront if the Banner Act didn’t make it legal? Yes. You gotta pay us more than she paid Shit Dox. Five hundred. [WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE] You get a free calendar. [WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE] [MATT] Patricia Lugo. Gambling addict, disorderly arrest in Atlantic City. Lost custody of her daughter, Usnavy. Goes to Hunter. Good job, had it for 18 months. Probably had records scrubbed so she could get it. You want the whole skeleton-closet file? I could threaten to kidnap the daughter too. [ANNIE] No. – That shit always works. – No, it’s fine. I don’t – I don’t want to harm her in any way. – [MATT] Uh-huh. Okay. Here’s your calendar. Other options. Volunteers at CP Center, user of Friend Proxy, pays way too much for luggage Wait, Friend Proxy? Does she have appointments coming up? Ah Interception. Hm? [BIRDS CHIRPING] Patricia? Juanita. [CHUCKLES] [LAUGHS] Oh! Hey. – It’s so good to see you again. – You too. You too. You know, um, every time I walk in this place, I get pulled back into this room, you know? Oh, me too. Me too. I just love little trees. I meant because of how we met. – Right here. – Sure. – At the bonsais. – Oh, yeah. That too. That too. Do you remember that summer? How much fun we had, right? – [LAUGHS] – Oh! Running up and down Coney every day Eating icy pops. Yeah, when we took the train, with Uncle Liam. Now, who the fuck is Uncle Liam? I’m sorry. I I don’t Do you want to start over or something? Seriously? What, then, you new? No. I’m What ? What’s your rating? ‘Cause you really don’t have a very good feel for people, honey. You’re using a service that gives you pretend friends. I have real friends. This is just more convenient. Mm-hmm. Oh, you have friends? You know what? I don’t even work for Friend Proxy. All right? I canceled your appointment, and I am here to fuck up your life, lady. I’m gonna blackmail the shit out of you. What? [PATRICIA] What? What are you talking about? Who are you? Forget it. I’m sorry. – No, no, no, no, wait. Who are you? – No, I’m really sorry, okay? I’m sorry. – [BIRDS CHIRPING] – [WATER FLOWING] Hey. Can I sit with you? I’m just trying to understand. I’m a bit confused. Am I a mark? Yeah. For what? I’m I’m broke. I was trying to get into a study at your work. And I said I’m sorry, so can you leave now, please? Why? – I really don’t need – No, really, I’m asking you why? Is this some AA shit? I’m enjoying this pond. You remind me of my little girl, that’s all. If there’s anything I can help So why? Because I am addicted to a drug that your company’s testing. That’s not the “why” I’m asking. What “why” are you asking? Five years ago, my sister and I got into a really bad fight. Very, very bad. And I can’t fix it. So there’s this rock that sits in my stomach, this cold rock. Like a boulder, and it’s just there all the time. And I found this pill It helps me get through the day. It’s not hurting anyone. And it makes me feel good. It is the only thing that makes me feel good. Have you tried talking to her? I can’t. Why shouldn’t I be able to take a pill like that whenever I want? You should, hon. If it ain’t hurting anyone. Hmm? [PEOPLE CHATTERING] Super happy. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] Helpful. Togetherness. You don’t have to rush. Okay. Sorry. Sisters. Making faces at each other. It’s supposed to be an emotion. What you feel. Fine. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] [WOMAN] Now, please turn your attention to me as I ask you this final question. [MACHINE BUZZES] The test is complete. Please go back to the reception area and wait. Did I ? Did I pass the test? What was that last question? I was telling the truth about all those pictures. – [WOMAN] This test is not about the truth. – Well, what is it about? Defense mechanisms. I don’t have fucking defense mechanisms. I think you should let me do it again. Who’s in charge of the red light? I I don’t fucking understand because I am supposed to be part of the trial. [WOMAN] I’m sorry. This is fucking bullshit. [ANNIE] Patricia. Patricia. No. No, no, no, no, no. No more favors. I got bosses around. No more. Go. – [WHISPERING] We had a deal. – I said I could funnel you through ULP. You failed the intake test. It is out of my hands. No, I have to get into that study, Patricia. All the way. I can’t. Move on, please. There you go. Thank you. [ANNIE] Patricia, may I speak with you, please? You have a daughter. Her name is Usnavy, and she goes to Hunter College. And if you don’t get me into that study, you’re never gonna see her again. What? Yeah, I know a guy who has a van, and if anything happens to me, he knows what to do. You’re fucking crazy. I’m not fucking crazy, Patricia. I’m just goal-oriented. Two minutes. Go sit over there. [WOMAN OVER PA] Owen Milgrim, please report to DM Test Room five. Owen Milgrim, please report to DM Test Room five for ULP screening. [WOMAN] What’s the color? This one’s the same, that’s Well, I guess it’s kind of gray. – Hi. Excuse me. – Hi. I have some good news. We’re going to upgrade you. Oh. Just between you and me, it’s a much, much safer trial. Okay. Um, does it have the same pay? – You just hand this over to me. – Okay. And you can go and talk to my colleague over there at the desk, and sort it all out. Okay. So so, what do you mean, “safer trial”? It’s fine. Your daughter is safe. For now. The human brain is vast as the cosmos, and equally unexplored. We here at Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech are pioneering a revolutionary procedure that will unlock the secret mysteries of the mind, and replace old-fashioned talk therapy forever. Sorry, Sigmund. Hello. I’m Dr. James K. Mantleray.

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And I’m Dr. Robert Muramoto. Welcome to Phase III of the ULP testing. You are not only participants in a pharmaceutical drug trial, you are pioneers at the forefront of a new world. You may notice you’re here with 11 other subjects. But don’t worry, your experiences here, likely very powerful, will be private and discreet, and entirely your own. No one sees into your heads And the multiple fantasy cells hiding inside there. but us. Now you’re probably wondering, “How does it work?” And it’s simple. Three pills taken in three steps analyzed by the most sophisticated mega-computer ever developed: the GRTA. [GRTA] Hello, friends. I’m a smart computer. After ingesting the pills, the GRTA’s cutting-edge artificial intelligence will identify, map, and confront the learned programming of your brain. At the end of this trial, don’t be surprised if you experience pure, unaffected joy. [GRTA] You’ll be born again, but not as a baby. [MANTLERAY] Now, let’s take a closer look. PILL A: The diagnostic stage. Pill A seeks out your core traumas and pulls them to the surface. We call it Agonia. Through your memories, we’ll see the worst moments of your life. But don’t worry it’s safe. We observe, using powerful microwave technology, the known and unknown anchors of pain in your personal history in order to create an arborization map that the GRTA will use as a guide for pills B and C. PILL B: Behavioral. – Time to show your – Blind spots! Unfortunately, the brain is remarkably skilled at protecting itself. With the second pill, you can identify self-defense mechanisms, blind spots, and the mazes and walls that your mind creates to hide yourself from you. Finally, it’s time for confrontation. PILL C: Confrexia. This is what has eluded psychoanalysts since the discovery of the unconscious. The end of the rainbow. Confrontation and acceptance. Once we’ve identified your core traumas and mapped your bio-psycho-social symptoms, the GRTA mega-computer remaps a more efficient system, custom-tailored to you, forging healthier pathways with powerful, non-surgical microwave technologies. Welcome to the start of your new life. Welcome to the start of your new life. You will never be the same again. Any questions? [MURAMOTO] Good. Even subjects, we’ll provide you with your pre-weighed meal, as the odd-numbered subjects begin the trial. [CARL] Odd-numbered subjects, I assume you know who you are by now, please stand up, form a line, and get ready to begin your trials. [CARL] As for the rest of you, please just sit tight. We’ll get to you soon. [EQUIPMENT BEEPING] [CARL] Line up in order, please. Number one in the front. [WHISPERS] Everybody thought I was crazy, but they were all wrong. – All right. – [WHISPERS] We’ll talk about this later. [CARL] Number nine. [MURAMOTO] “I dried my tears and armed my fears With ten thousand shields and spears. Soon my Angel came again; I was armed, he came in vain; For the time of youth was fled, And grey hairs were on my head. “ [EQUIPMENT BEEPING] [GRTA] Oh, Robert, how poetic. I’m glad you like it. [GRTA] Oh, I loved it. Now back I go, into their minds. [CARL] One, three, five, seven, nine, eleven. When you reach your seats, you can put on your aprons. – [MAN] What’s the vest for? – [CARL] Check number one’s headrest. It’s like being at a dentist’s office. – What’s the vest for? – [CARL] Precautionary. Did they say anything about radiation? Precautionary. The vest protects your important parts from the nominal amount of residual headset radiation. Can you check number one, please? [EQUIPMENT BEEPING] Final stages checks, please. – Cooling. – [MAN] Operational. – Electrical. – [MAN] Stable. [AZUMI] Med profile. – [GRTA] Uploaded and carved out. – [CARL] Take one of each. I can see Gertie’s safety net is supple and responsive. She liked what you read. I know. [CARL] Take one of each. Take one of each, please. Wait! Dr. Fujita will tell you when you can take it. The data we collect from our subjects, in the next three days, is absolutely vital to the success of this trial. What’s more, their lives are in our hands. No more mistakes. [SPEAKING JAPANESE] [FUJITA] Subjects, please ingest your pill with your water. [MACHINE CLINKS] [POWER LOADING] [MACHINERY WHIRLS] Visual check clear. Go to blue? Going to blue. Let’s lay them down gently, people. Hard entry is our enemy. [EQUIPMENT BEEPS] [GIRL HUMMING] [EAGLE SCREAMS] [AUTOMATED VOICE] Tank is full. Please remove nozzle. Have a nice day. Think fast. [YELPS] Oh. [ELLIE] There’s 24,000 words in there. [ANNIE] What? [ELLIE] You know picture? Oh. Twenty-four thousand words. [LAUGHS] Cute. How many words is that? One. [ENGINE TURNS OVER] [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] – [ANNIE] Okay, ‘80s. – [ELLIE] There’s a supernatural element. [ANNIE] Yep, but it has to make you cry. – [ELLIE] Oh, it’s this one. – Oh-oh. It’s a body-switch movie. He’s him, and he’s him. And they crashed their dirt bikes into each other, they woke up in the hospital, and they’ve switched bodies. And the young one has been masturbating constantly. Now they’re on this hijinks-filled wackadoo road trip that ends with a secret sect of Utah businessmen that, um mmm practice soul-swapping. I’m surprised you didn’t add sodomy. That’s pretty light for you. Well, I’m not finished yet. It’s tragic, because that old man is now in this young body, and he’s gonna leave his grandson, just ditch him, and let him slip off into Alzheimer’s. There she is. I’m actually pissed about this. Hey! Hey! I see you, motherfucker! That wasn’t your body in the first place! You got to give it back! You can’t cheat Father Time! [BOTH LAUGH] [ANNIE] Apparently in Colorado, fast lane means slow lane. [ELLIE] Oh, my God! That’s a bumpy road! To the left. To your left. – [ELLIE] Okay. – Right now, it looks like you’re sort of, like, fondling the underside of it. – I am not. What am I supposed to do? – Just, like, give it some gumption. – That’s perfect. Like that? – Yes! [ANNIE] Stay there. Stay. One. Two. [CAMERA CLICKS] Three. That’s really funny. Can I have the camera back, please? No. It’s pretty. I wanted to take a nice picture. Well, I am the designated documentarian, so no. [ANNIE OPENS AND CLOSES CAR’S DOOR] [TRAFFIC NOISES] [ELLIE] Yeah, I know. I gotta go. – [MAN] Love you. – Love you too. [MAN] See you soon, honey. – Bye. – [MAN] Bye. [BOTH SIGH] [YAWNS] I like this. What? Just doing something with you. I don’t know, it’s – It’s been a while. – Was that Mom that you were talking to just now? No, that was Ben. I just told him that we’d be there by tomorrow night. I just figured because you and Mom have reconnected or whatever. [ELLIE] I didn’t reconnect with her, okay? She wrote me a letter, said it was an emergency, that she needed something, – so I called her back, once. – [ANNIE] Oh, my God. – Here, take it. Read it. – No. God. – I’m not mad. – I didn’t say you were. – Stop. – I didn’t say you were mad. Let’s watch a movie. – [MAN ON TV] Nothing to think over. – Okay. [MAN ON TV] They’re trying to say that I’m in a gang. – They think that I’m the leader of a gang. – [WOMAN] Well, you told them. – [REMOTE CLICKS] – You waste his time and mine. – Oh, no, thank you. – No, can we ? Stop, I like this movie. I like it. Leave it. [MAN] He requires more serious [ANNIE SIGHS] [LAUGHING] Annie’s favorite. [ANNIE] I can’t believe you like this fantasy shit. [ELLIE IN AN ELF VOICE] But it’s real. Annie, I’m Ellia, your cursed Elven sister. Rescue me. [CHUCKLES] From what? From a normal life. That is all on you. [NORMAL VOICE] Okay. I’ve got a fantasy for you. – [ANNIE TURNS OFF TV] – About a girl moving her life to Salt Lake City, because that’s where her fiancé has been transferred because she thinks it’d make her happy. But she But she’s afraid of a nice family that stays together a nice job, nice kids. Afraid because maybe she can’t maintain that stability. Maybe she’ll just realize that isn’t what she wanted, and she’ll just fuck it all up and her kids along with it. But she doesn’t. It works. It works out fine. Sounds like a fantasy of someone who gave up. You have such a thing. – [ANNIE] A thing? – [ELLIE] Mm-hmm. With, like, going eight levels too harsh. – No, don’t do that. – [ELLIE] Do what? Don’t guess what you think I think and then say it like it’s coming from you. You don’t think that I have my own doubts, Annie? You’re so caught up with your own narcissism. – I’m sorry, my narcissism? – The fact you can’t take care of anything, – or keep one relationship going. – I’m sorry about your dog. Your fucking Mom-like narcissism. – I loved him too! – Even the whole armpit pictures. What point are you trying to make? That I’m fucking stupid for wanting to remember a nice trip? Because I’m sad. I’m sad that I’m moving away from you! It’s hard to talk to you when you’re this emotional. You’re the one acting like Mom. You know, I have my things too, I just I just don’t broadcast them to the world. Is that what I do? You also fucking lie constantly. Every second, of every day, of your entire fucking life is broadcasting how normal you are. [SMIRKS] You’re so desperate for someone to tell you you’re okay. [HUFFS AND LAUGHS] I don’t know how this started. I’m sorry. I was just trying to talk to you. You don’t have to shut down just because I’m saying something real. I’m not shutting down. Can I say one last real thing? Every time I think of New York, without you in it This is seriously true, this isn’t a lie. I feel happy. Because now I won’t have to feel bad about not calling you, or doing anything with you. You’ll be far away. And we can grow apart and we won’t have to pretend we didn’t. I’m gonna miss you too, Annie. Do you want to take an actual picture? Of both of us? – I’m not stupid. – What? It’s the perfect time to fuck with me again. No, I’m not fucking with you. I’m not. I’m being serious. Okay. I do want to remember this. My The camera is in my bag. Here, I’ll take it. – Hold the wheel. – Okay. [ANNIE] They should have, like, a stick for something like this. Three. Two. – One. [CAMERA CLICKS] – That’s so annoying. That was fucking funny. No, it’s not funny anymore. – Give it to me. – Come on. – Annie No, I bought it. – Ellie, stop. Come on. – I did take a picture of my armpit. – Why won’t you take the picture? – [BRAKES AND TIRES SQUEALING] – [CAR CRASHES] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [WHIMPERS] [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [BUZZER SOUNDS]   [DISQUIETING CLASSICAL MUSIC] [AZUMI] Ten seconds until reentry, people. [MAN] Here they come. [AZUMI] Welcome back, subjects. Welcome back. [D’NAIL] Huh? What was that? It was fucking unethical. You waived ethics in your consent form. Talk to me. Are we liking what we’re seeing on the neuromatrices? [MAN] Clean narrative data from all but Subject One. [WOMAN] I’m not positive he was actually down. – [AZUMI] What about Nine? – [WOMAN] I don’t know what to tell you. Brain structure tells me she’s been there many times before. [MAN] She’s already got the grooves of this narrative. That was, uh overwhelming. – Wait till you take the second one. – [AZUMI] Friendly reminder, please do not discuss your experience with any other subjects. Post-phase evaluations will occur in ascending order, so please settle in and wait comfortably in the commons until your number is called. [MURAMOTO] Mr. One, please report to the post-exam test room. Thank you. Please describe your emotional state upon waking from the pill. Um Fragile. Maybe sad. [MURAMOTO] Mm-hmm. Also hungry. You need snack? Bleeding. [MURAMOTO] Emotional state. Emotions. Bleeding. Internally. You look tired. I’m exhausted. And devastated. But satisfied. I want to know more about the second pill. [MURAMOTO] Why? I just do. Um S I’m speechless. Anything else? [INHALES DEEPLY] I’m speechless. I’ll trust you too. I won’t count it. [LAUGHING] [AMELIA] For me, it was a hurricane. Horrible. It took my Herbert. You like the complicated ones, I see. – [ANNIE] I’m so sorry to hear that. – [AMELIA] It wasn’t the best of marriages. – I don’t even know her. – [ANNIE] Are any of them? – Nothing to be ashamed of. – [AMELIA] Don’t say that. These places all end up like camp. Everyone falls in love in two hours. It can get silly. – [ANNIE] You haven’t remarried? – [AMELIA] I would never. I was on a Phase I of a GI treatment in Houston, one of the rats proposed on the second day. Of course, by that time we all had the radioactive shits. You know what was odd though? What the pill made me see was not like I remember it. Was that a memory, or was it something else? [CARL] One, Five, Nine. Dr. Muramoto wants to see you in his office. – [RAYMOND] We’ve been red-flagged. – What does that mean? I do 20, 30 of these a year all over the country. It’s good money if you can work the system. When they call you in right away, that means they caught something. What do they usually do? Enhanced interrogation? Enhanced interrogation? No. They red flag you, they mark your file, they ask you a bunch of questions. They’re gonna document the case so they don’t have to pay. – Then they kick you out. – I didn’t do anything wrong. Every time, it doesn’t matter what you say. Mr. Five, come in. [MOUTHING] We’re fucked. I didn’t take the pill in case you needed to activate me. [CLEARS THROAT] Owen I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I sort of I kind of lied to get into the study, and it seemed like you might be a problem, so I just said what you needed to hear. But you knew my name. I saw you in the ads. You said there was a larger pattern. Well, I knew your name because they said it on the intercom at reception. And the ads, I sold my face to a stock service four years ago, so it’s And as far as I can tell, there is no plan or pattern to the universe. It’s just chaos. I’m sorry. Why are you here? Your turn. Yo, can I get my condoms back? – [CARL] You don’t get those condoms back. – [RAYMOND CHUCKLES] Really sorry for the confusion. There are inconsistencies with your participation in this study. Oh, okay. [MURAMOTO] And I’m gonna need you to recount what happened in your mind after taking the pill, and verify your experience of your core trauma. It’s supposed to be the worst day of your life, right? [MURAMOTO] Is that what you experienced? It was intense. Describe intense with details. Well, when I took the “A” pill the light changed [JAZZ PIANO PLAYS] and I was standing in my parents’ house. Gimlet? Oh, what’s that? It’s a gimlet. Thanks. [OWEN] It was seven months ago, my brother’s engagement party, and I had just switched to a new medication. You like her, don’t you? Yeah, Adelaide’s great. [JED] I mean, you really like her. What do you want, Jed? Listen, I I wanted to I wanted to ask you directly, you know, because sometimes You’re gonna help me out, right? So long as you didn’t do it. I did I didn’t do it. God [MAN] Nice to meet you. It really doesn’t matter what happened, right? You of all people would understand that. Of course it matters. It’s the only thing that matters. – Oh, what’s real matters? – Yes. Okay. Hilarious. Hilarious, but okay. [EXHALES] Can I ask you something? Can you imagine what Mom and Dad would do if they found out you had another incident? Maybe write threatening letters to very powerful people. The mayor, the head of the FBI, Secret Service. Tell them how you see a pattern in the universe, and how you have to take ‘em down before it’s too late. Maybe sprinkle a little anthrax in there. You can’t do that. I’m joking. I’m joking. Jesus, lighten up. Who said I’d do that, right? But seriously someone could do that to you, right? With your history, you’ll end up in the fuckin’ loony bin. It’s like someone making up whatever they want about me, and I end up humiliated. And it didn’t even happen. We’re in the same boat. You see that, right? Anyway, I love you. Yeah. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone in our family. I gotta go make a speech. Yikes! Wish me luck. Dad. Oh, there he is. Um, listen. Hey, everyone, thank you for Where are you hid ? Don’t hide. Come here. Thank you everyone for coming. Um, I would like to make a toast to Adelaide, my Hempstead hamster. – That’s in the bedroom, right? – Okay, stop. [LAUGHTER] But, um, I don’t know if you guys heard, she’s engaged to be my my bride. – [GASPING] – [WHISTLING] I don’t deserve her, that’s for sure. She doesn’t deserve this, but I’m gonna do it anyway. – What are you gonna do? – Dad, you’re the man. Start it up. Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you [LAUGHTER] Every single day And every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I’ll be watching you [ADELAIDE LAUGHS] Oh can’t you see? You belong to me How my poor heart aches With every step you take Every move you make [CONTINUES FAINTLY IN DISTANCE] And every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I’ll be watching you Since you’ve been gone I’ve been lost without a trace I dream at night I can only see your face I look around And it’s you I can’t replace I feel so cold And I long for your embrace I keep crying baby, baby Please – [THUD] – [CROWD GASPS] [PORTER] Owen. [ANGELICA, SCREAMING] Owen! Owen! Owen! So Sting was at this party? No, he was singing Sting. [MURAMOTO] Did you make up that story? No, I did not. [MURAMOTO] According to our readings, you were conscious, Mr. One. You did not take the pill. No, that’s that’s not possible. [EXHALES] [KEYS JINGLE] [MURAMOTO] Now, you are going to take that. – I already took it. – [MURAMOTO] Don’t lie. If you don’t take it, I’ll have security escort you from this facility, with no money, no honor, just shame. No. – [MURAMOTO] Take it now. – No. I said take it. No. [IN JAPANESE] Drink. [YELLS ANGRILY IN JAPANESE] Swallow! [DOOR OPENS] [ANNIE] Why were you in there so long? What’d he say? [MURAMOTO] Could you tell Miss Nine to come in, Mr. One? He wants you to go in there. [MURAMOTO] I don’t know how you had access to the pill, but analysis of the biodata indicates that you have been using it compulsively. I haven’t. I sympathize with you. The “A” experience, on its own, can be a seductive demon. What are you talking about? [MURAMOTO] Most people wouldn’t understand why someone wants to revisit a trauma again and again, even take pleasure from it. Most people, wouldn’t. But you do. [INHALES DEEPLY] People like that don’t want to move forward. I don’t deserve to. [MURAMOTO] Don’t you? I want to move forward. I want to know what the second pill does. People who feel they deserve loss might try to move forward. They might taste recovery but they always end up going back. Why? [INHALES DEEPLY] Be [MOROMOTO BREATHES RAGGEDLY] Dr. Muramoto? Is Is this part of ? Is this a test? [TELEPHONE RINGS] Or is that the test? You wanna see if I’ll answer it? [TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING] I can wait. I’ll wait forever. Are you actually dead? Fuck! [WHISPERS] Owen, I need your help. – What? – Just get the fuck in here! Do not let anyone come in this door. – Did you kill him? – No, I didn’t fuckin’ kill him. He just died. Sometimes people just die. He made me take a pill. What’d you see? Olivia. – We were studying. – Is that your girlfriend? [OWEN] No. It’s a girl I liked. She asked me to help her with her, uh, history finals. I, like, wanted to talk to her all semester. And I was on my way to the library, and I saw him. Grimsson. That was the first time he ever came to me. And he told me to watch out for Olivia, and I just realized she was a plant. My parents had paid her to pretend to like me. They were listening in. My brothers were listening in. They were just laughing at me. My mind kept racing. Like, someone had given her information on me. How she was getting paid for every minute she made me happy and that my parents paid her to marry me and grow old with me and have a family and seven kids. I started asking her if her name was even Olivia. And she’s like, “Are you okay?” I said, “No, I’m not okay. None of this is real. None of this is real. None of this is real. “ Sounds like you were having a day. What? That’s what my mom used to call it when she got her wires crossed. [OWEN] Doctors called it a BLIP. Brief and limited psychosis. I didn’t know that. I I just started screaming at her. I just yelled some fucked up things at her. And other people started looking at me, and I started throwing books at them and screaming at them. And I knew I was right. I was so sure I was right. Have you ever just felt unbelievably sure that you were right and everyone else was wrong? [ANNIE] All the time. I’ll do yours. Where did you end up? Strapped to a gurney in a little room by myself screaming for my mom. [EXHALES] That’s rough. Let’s go back out there and pretend nothing fucked up happened. [CARL] The food cubes being distributed during Meal Time deliver a specific amount of nutrients and calories to the body. That means that your plates at the end of Meal Time need to be happy plates. Does everyone know what a happy plate is? A happy plate is a clean plate. I can’t eat. [CARL] You have to. It’s not to make me happy, but to make science happy. [WOMAN] Tastes like the inside of my cat’s uterus. Stay out of your cat’s uterus. [MAN] Is this food? Tell me why the pill was so important to you that you lied to get in here and you tricked me. I never would have messed with you if I knew all that stuff had happened. The BLIP. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. [INHALES DEEPLY] My sister and I were in a car crash five years ago. The driver passed out behind the wheel of a semi-truck. He had been driving for 30 hours. He was high on NoDoze. His name was Greg F. U. N. Nazlund. His middle name was “fun. “ It was his fucking fault if we’re talking about fault. Every time I take that pill, I have to live through the worst day of my life, just like you did. I have to hear myself say the worst ugliest things I’ve ever said to anyone. And it ends with the worst thing that ever happened. I fucking love it. Why? Because I get to be with her. Oh, they found him. [CARL] I thought he was napping when I first came in. Poor Robert. It’s a catastrophe. [CARL] Want me to bring in a team, get him out of here? No. Leave him. I have to go up to the 77th floor. [DOOR CLOSES] [SNIFFLES] [YODA IN JAPANESE] [AZUMI IN JAPANESE] [YODA] [YODA] [YODA] [YODA] [AZUMI] It was a past life. An old life. Lies forced us apart and now we can’t remember. No I remember. We were lovers. Now we’re gonna be together forever. High Priestess of Atlantis can you feel that? My energy in your chest? I can feel it. Good. – Now, put your hands on me. – Okay. [MOANS] – That’s excellent. – [PRIESTESS MOANS] – [MAN] See what she does with a ping-pong. – [MAN 2] She shot them [WOMAN] It was cute, but I wasn’t into it, y’know? – [MAN] Why weren’t you into it? – [WOMAN] It was weird. – [MANTLERAY] Fabulous. – [MOANS] [PRIESTESS MOANS] That’s good. That’s good. – [PRIESTESS MOANS] – That’s good. Oh, that’s excellent. [AZUMI] James. – [PRIESTESS] Oh, my God. – That’s excellent. [PRIESTESS MOANS] – Oh, that’s excellent. – [AZUMI] James! [PRIESTESS MOANS] [SUCKTUBE POWERS OFF] [AZUMI] I’m sorry to to walk in on you like this, but I still have my key. I thought we had agreed that you wouldn’t bother me while I was working. I need your help. The very fact that you braved the outside world for me tells me this is an emergency. Let me guess. You’re having trouble dampening the reality test when it drops to NREM 3. Now Dr. Muramoto has begged you to come and beg me – to come help him. – [AZUMI] He’s dead. He was freebasing an A/C mixture. Uh-huh. And who’s going to replace him? You. – Don’t fuck with me, Azumi. – [AZUMI] I’m not, James. [CLEARS THROAT] We need your help to finish. Of course I’ll need several minutes to get my affairs in order, but yes. I’ll be right outside. [RUSTLING] [SNIFFING] – – [SIGHS] When is this fucking horse gonna die? I don’t have my security card. Thank you for braving the outside world for me. Thank you for inventing this treatment. Does Gertie know I’m here? I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. [INHALES DEEPLY] Hello. It’s excellent to see you again. [GRTA] James. What a nice surprise! Are you gonna show your face? All right. Oh By the way, I thought you should hear it from me first that Dr. Muramoto is dead. [GRTA] Oh! And I’m once again at the helm of this project. [GRTA] I see. Thank you for telling me. Did Muramoto have access to a beta headset? Yes. Sometimes he used it when they were red flags. Why? I’ll address the subjects tomorrow myself. They can’t be spooked by a death. And sometimes the arrival of a new authority figure could be equally upsetting. Either is a data taint. Last thing we want is a data taint. Yeah. We need all the data we can get. Number Five he just brought rubbers, so he can stay, right? Azumi. [AZUMI] Yes. When an addict dies, do you think it’s suicide? I believe Robert was optimistic. I think he just made a mistake. I’m sorry about Robert. How are you feeling? [GRTA] I feel I have all the feels. Behavioral tomorrow. What do you think they’ll all see in themselves? [GRTA] I don’t know. Get some rest. [SIGHS] Good night, Azumi. Good night, James. [GRTA CRIES] [COMPUTERIZED ROOSTER CROWS] [COMPUTERIZED BIRDS CHIRPING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] – What’s wrong with fish sauce? – There’s nothing wrong with fish sauce. [AZUMI] Good morning. Could I have everyone’s attention for a moment? My name [CLEARS THROAT] is Dr. James K. Mantleray. Unfortunately, Dr. Muramoto has had a family emergency, so I will personally be assuming oversight duties of this iteration of the ULP. Uh, I believe in this treatment. And I believe in the idea that we can all be uh fixed. Pain uh, can be destroyed. But it can’t without trials like this, so I guess I want to thank you all for being the brave explorers that you are. Uh, great adventurers on the precipice of mankind’s last, great, hidden frontier: Mindlantis. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [COMPUTER PLAYS MELODY] [WOMAN] I’m seeing soothing from the white. Good. They’re settling in. And there’s no reason for any of them to be nervous. Exposure elements stacked and loaded? [MAN] Affirmative. [AZUMI] Safety Net confirm. [MAN] Gertie is present and caring. Okay, people, let’s illuminate some blind spots. [MANTLERAY] Azumi. I’d like to administer the behavioral pill. It’s been a while. Be my guest, Dr. Mantleray. Subjects, please ingest the pill. [COMPUTER POWERS UP] [MAN] All clear. Going to green. [WOMAN ON TV] comes down to the butter. – Everyone will tell you to bake – [LINDA] Bruce? with unsalted butter, – but I tend to disagree – [LINDA] Brucie? because using salted butter in the mix [LINDA] Bruce? You fell asleep in front of the TV again. You got to get up. [WOMAN ON TV] Okay, and Well, I know we’re all worried about our cholesterol these days, but if you truly are [“ILLEGAL SMILE” PLAYS] Hey. Hey. Is there any coffee? [LINDA] Yeah, I just made some. Big day today. [BRUCE] You say that every morning. Well, today I mean it. Toss? Keep? Keep. Ah, but fortunately [LINDA] I’m saving it. I have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don’t cost very much But it lasts a long while Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun Well done Hot dog bun My sister’s a nun   [BRUCE] All right, Dr. Greta, let’s fix this marriage. Hmm. SHE’S OFTEN TELLING YOU WHAT SHE NEEDS. YOUR JOB AS HER HUSBAND IS TO HEAR IT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES NOW SERVING Oh, that’s me. Excuse me. Excuse me. That’s me. Oh, uh, that’s okay. I’m gonna wait for her. You go ahead. How can I help you, dear? I am here to report a dangerous driver. This is form DS-7, including my anecdote. My kids play on that street. You don’t have the name and address of the driver. Well, if I had his name and his address, I’d go over to his house and I’d have dealt with him myself. You really shouldn’t do that. This is his license plate number. Can you get any stuff from that? Well, I’m not allowed to give you that information, hon, but I could file a report. – [BEEP] – [TYPING] I don’t know if you really wanna bother with this, because they take such a long time. Yeah, I’m seeing his address now, so I can submit this thing. You know what? Now that I’m here actually doin’ it, I feel like a snitch. And I ain’t one. But thanks. You’ve been helpful. How’d it go? [SIGHS] Failed the written again. I’m sorry, babe. Next time. Hey, wanna get a doughnut at Lucky’s or somethin’? No, I wanna go to 534 Ashton Place. You don’t need a map. You married Magellan. Uh-huh. Hey what baby wants, baby gets. Fudgin’ seat belt. – You okay? – Yeah, it’s stiff. You know. – Go all the way back – Yeah. – and pull it. – No, I know. 534 Ashton Place. On a need-to-know basis. Eight minutes, tops. [LINDA] Oh, in your dreams, Bruce. [BRUCE] I’m gonna put it on sport mode, Mario Andretti – [LINDA] Oh! – [BRUCE] There we are. There we are. All right, eight minutes. – We did it. – [SIGHS] – Perfect! – Okay. [BRUCE] I’m just a guy – who knows his way around. – [LINDA] Ooh, Brucie, pull there. – Here? – Park there. Okay. – [LINDA GASPS] – Here we go. Them sons of bitches. Wait. [LINDA] When we go in there, you’re gonna distract them. What? Distract who? The guys in the store, Bruce. It’s August, it’s 98 degrees. Why are we going to a fur store? Just Go on. Here, go ahead. Go. [LINDA] It’s a different guy. It’s not them. He’s a salesperson. [MAN] Welcome to Furs by Sebastian. I’m him. How can I help you today? Uh I’m I’m looking for something to wear uh, to the opera. Is your bathroom in the back? Oh, right here, hon. – Okay, I’m just gonna – Uh – Where Where are uh – You’re just in time. Our summer sale is just ending. Take a look over here. See what speaks to you. I think you’d look really stunning in a mink. You don’t choose a fur. It chooses you. Take a look. [MAN] Hold on, Lance. I’m sendin’ a fax. [BEEPING] [DOOR OPENS] PRIVATE Wendy! Hey, girl. We’re gonna get you out of here. – Oh, good girl. Come on. – [SQUEAKING] – [BEEPING] – [DOOR OPENS] [SIGHS] Sam Beckett. [CLICKING TONGUE] What a babe. [TOILET FLUSHES] Oh, my God. [MAN COUGHS] That’s one way to lose five pounds. [FIRST MAN] Oof. Shut the door. – Oh, it fuckin’ stinks, Lance. – [DOOR SLAMS] Light a match. What kind of car you drivin’ out there? It’s, uh It’s a it’s a Volvo, but at, uh, home I got a Corvette. Very nice. Very diverse. It’s a goof, it’s fun. I don’t know. And, Lance you can’t put the code for the door on the door. You see that? That’s 20 fuckin’ grand. It’s got 31 transverse rings on its tail. Do you know how fuckin’ rare that is? [LANCE] It’s not a hat yet. – When’s Dad guttin’ that thing? – [LANCE] Tomorrow. We have rehearsal. It’s the only time Joey and Matt are free. Can’t they learn the routine separately? You fuckin’ kidding me? – This shit has to be coordinated. – [SQUEAKS] Do you hear that? [LANCE] It’s the sound it makes when it’s hungry. – I thought – Shut up, I’m right. – Just give it a V8. – [LANCE] What? [FIRST MAN] Seriously. It’s an old trick. [WENDY SQUEAKING] No, the fridge. – [OPENS CAN] – No, pour it in a glass. Do you want it to cut its little tongue? Lemurs have very delicate inner systems. And then just bring it over to me because I made that up, shithead. [SPLASH] [LANCE] Bottoms up, funny guy. Fucking foreskin. Oh, that is good. Now, let’s try this, okay? Five, six, seven, eight. Baby Give me just a little taste Of your love Crisp. Let’s see what you got, Lance. Get your head in the game. Finding your hips. Okay? Go! One, two, three. Hair. Kick, pull, change. Down. Up. I got a feeling about you. You might be the kind of guy who might be interested in bulletproof furs. Is that something that sparks your imagination? Uh I don’t know. [SEBASTIAN] Comes in very handy. – [LINDA] Honey, we have to go now. – Oh, yeah. Uh Thank you. We’ll think about it, really. The sale’s ending today. Maybe your wife will let you come back later? – [BRUCE] Hah. – Oh. You look better in leather. [LAUGHS] – Now, honey. – All right. Well, hey – thank you. – Thank you. We’re open till eight. – Come on. – I I’m gonna think about it. Sorry. I gotta tell you, I really liked the way I felt in that. [SIGHS] All right, Sheila, we struck out again. Back we go. [SIGHS] You need to spill it, babe. Spill what? What the hell is goin’ on? [SIGHS] They have Wendy. Who the fudge is Wendy? Nan’s lemur. Who the fudge is Nan? She Remember? The woman that I was taking care of at work. With stomach cancer. Who died yesterday morning. Hold on, rewind more. I told you that Nan and I had a special connection, right? So yesterday, on her deathbed, Nan tells the doctor to get out, and she asks me to take her lemur and deliver it to her daughter. – Wasn’t her daughter there? – No, they’re estranged, Bruce. And Nan, that lemur just meant so much to her, and she wanted to give it to her daughter as a gesture of reconciliation. So you agreed to deliver a lemur – from a dying woman – Mm-hm. – to her estranged daughter? – Yes. So these two guys come into the hospice two days ago, and they asked Nan to buy the lemur. So Nan tells them to scram, and then yesterday, Nan passes, God rest her soul, so I take Wendy, and I get ready to go find the daughter, but then, you know, my bladder. And so I go in to pee at Bagel Boss for two minutes. Next thing I know, this fuckin’ van is screeching away, with Wendy. And thank God I got the license plate number. – That is fudging disrespectful. – It is. – While you’re peeing in Bagel Boss. – I know. And now, tomorrow morning, they’re gonna turn Wendy into a hat. [BRUCE] Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Because I fucked it up. Like I always do. – You didn’t fudge it up. – Oh. You found it, just now. And let’s call the cops and clear this whole thing No. Bruce, I can’t call the cops. This is an illegal lemur. If they take her, they’re gonna ship her back to Madagascar. Plus, Nan told me that it had to be me. Only me. She was very specific on that point. I just Ugh. We gotta break into that store. Tonight. Really? You’re gonna help me? – Of course I’ll help you. – Aww! You don’t think I’m bonkers? That’s why I married you, babe. You’re a force of nature. [SNEEZES] Bless you. There was a chinchilla in there. Do I have anything in there? A big beautiful brain, that’s all I see up there. [CHUCKLES] [GIRL] What did the Buddha say when he walked up – to the hot dog vendor? – [BRUCE] What? Make me one with everything. [LINDA] Okay. Good night. Be good. – Aw, I thought we were eatin’ together. – [LINDA] Oh, I’m late. And I hate asparagus. Me too. I just want to break it! – All right. – See, Lin, what I said about the modeling? Lights out at eight, please. – No! – [LINDA] You’re very cooperative. Thank you for being so cooperative. See you later. Yeah. I’ll pick you up. And Vicky’s good to watch the kids. Okay, good. – Don’t forget my gym bag. – Of course. Love you, babe. – Hi, Mrs. M. – Hi, Vick. Thank you so much. Bye. – [BRUCE] Hi, Vicky. – Hi. – [GIRL] Hey, Dad? – Yeah. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? [BRUCE] No. Great food, no atmosphere. [LINDA] “ and they would lure him back. – When they did “ – That’s a good one. “ they would find out once and for all if his exceptional madness could be cured. “ It’s a good one today, huh? I like it. I know it’s hard losin’ a roommate, and Nan was quite a lady. It’s gonna take a while to feel normal again. Actually, I haven’t felt this good in years. Whenever I see Nan’s empty bed, I am just elated.